SWTLAND

2011-12-27T18:37:00.004+08:00

Hi. It's been more than 3 months since I blogged in blogger. I don't know what to say now...I wrote them all out on my mind already, so much so that it's blank now. It's alright if you didn't get what I just said.

Anyhow, I'm back from NS for good. I'm tumblring my experience here. It'll be a (more than) half a year project. It's just absurd to cramp more than 84 days of journaling into 84 days of tumblring with so much going on.

I feel like officially stop blogging here, till I read blog posts of ppl I follow. I think i'll still stick with stop blogging here. I won't even tumblr much. I have to study. I have 2 or 3 tumblrs to manage. You know why I said I don't wanna blog, and it's evident to me that I like tumblr more than blogspot? because nobody reads 'em, okay, nobody "likes" my posts. That just sounded really pathetic. Well, of course, I blog for myself, to express myself. But some encouragement doesn't hurt. I don't want people to know what's going on in my life(because that's what I usually blog about) because I don't know what's going on in their lives.

In Tumblr, at least I know who likes my post or reblogged. Knowing that I've encouraged someone, because I get encouraged by reading other people's post or looking at pictures which inspires me.

Promoting Tumblr on blogger is just bad. Blogger had been my companion. It was only for a certain season of my life. At least 5 years. I am grateful. I blogged most in 2009, and the least this year, including this post, it's only 20. More than 9 times lesser.

I shall write what I planned to write, now. Thinking...

1. 2011

2. 2012

2011 have been the most eventful year. Being 18 is so not cool as I thought it was. Okay, it's quite cool actually. Driving is not. I'm not looking forward to it. Traffic scares me. I might change my mind about this. I just wrote a confusing paragraph. That just showed the state of my mind, how fickle it is.

I shall make it clearer

Why is being 18 cool:

Why is being 18 not cool:

no, this is not working. 18 is the age where I don't need my parents permission to go to a camp, officially.

College or Uni? NO WAY. It's another world. I'll never fit in or belong , as if you're meant to fit in or feel belong. You are called to be set apart. Even now, I don't belong. Though I'm told I'm accepted, I don't feel that way, even if you tell me over and over again. Because we'll never be accepted by everyone, except for God. I know why, they are just mere words. No action, no sincerity, nothing. Perhaps most everybody goes through this. Searching. Search of Identity.

Speaking of Identity. I wonder when will I ever have those being-oneself-talking-so-much-and-so-annoyingly moments. I got to experience that again only for a couple of Wednesdays and Thursdays. Which reminded me so much of the old school days. Move on.

I miss X. But what else would I talk to X about? Chatting in school and over the internet is so differently. X has a special someone. When you have a special someone, that who you'll be thinking about and talking to most of the time. I don't wanna annoy X. Perhaps X is thinking that same way. No one made a effort. I don't wanna talk about studies. So boring and so fake.

I miss Y. It's good to talk to Y because Y listens, unlike all others. But Y couldn't be bothered.

Z is being too nice.

That moment of heart beats fast. Full stop. Only for a while. Thank God.

2011, I've moved on. I don't want a 21st post so I'm crammin' everything up here.

Managed to move on from crush on a stranger after so many years.

I sent so many unspoken messages to my girlfriends. If I'm in their shoes, I'll be confused. Which is good. It wasn't intentional.

Wanted to be like everyone else, unknowingly. We're all fighting this battle and I nearly died.

Mom kept tell how sick and ugly I look. My hair. Occasionally she'll tell me I have nice features. I'm lazy. Lazy and forgetful to put sun-screen or face powder on my face when I go out. Freckles. Lose weight. I'm happy the way I am, for now. Who knows the layers of FAT might keep me warm in hard days to come. WWIII rumors. Which is why I collect junk and don't give away my clothes now. I want to give it personally. I handled the clothes to be given away before and I didn't like it. My trash now might be my gold later. You might tell me my mentality is wrong. That's how I think now. There's no right or wrong in these, especially when there's a because, especially in things that may seem stupid to you only. Learnt that from the Confidence Series, the speakers were really transparent. Yes! You can see through them, you sarcastic one. It's okay if you didn't get it.

My hair. My inherent short neck (paternal grandfather). Double chin. Big headed. You think I want it? I think they're symptoms of neurofibramatosis. My head was humongous when I was born. Like ET. So my mother told me.

I want 2012 to be a year of giving to the needy.

2011 was adventurous. It was a year I was away from home most. Away from homeland as well. The most eventful year. Starting off with Korea, advancement camp, Sabah, National Service, and youth Camp. That's nice about 18. You get to go away alone with others.

I think I'm meant to be a lone ranger. Perhaps it's just MY OWN only child mentality. The problem is me. No no no. I don't agree with "There's nothing wrong with you!" talk when it comes to this matter. Hear me out. "There's nothing wrong with you." Is a lie to some extend. I didn't say it's a lie because it's not. It's only a lie to some extend. But, oh! WAIT! A lie is still a lie. White lies, black lies, lies are still lies. Okay, I conclude that a lot things have a BUT. There's no one way solution, with SALVATION as the exception. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, no one goes to the Father except through Him.

I don't know how to talk. Not speak. I'm not mute. A lot of times I don't know what to say next. It's a challenge to be myself when it comes to not knowing what to say. I've observe how people with many friends and well-liked talk. I'm not trying to be like them, I guess, just learning the good stuffs. In the meantime, I have to rmb to be myself. I tend to confuse ppl at times. We are constant. We can't stay the same. Change the bad stuffs.

And they(people) say I'm good at talking. I think not. Only when I know what to say. I'm bad at conversations. Ah, the problem is me. Mother says I should change the way I talk, to her and other people, or I'll suffer when I'm working and all that. You might be giving an applause to her right now.

my principle: WHAT ARE WORDS IF YOU DON'T MEAN THEM WHEN YOU SAY THEM

so I won't say it, sing it, or play it. If I listen to a song, google the lyrics, and didn't like it and it's something I don't believe in. I won't sing it, I won't play it, I will refrain from listening to it. All the Cs, Contemporary, Christian, Christmas Carols, and an O-Oldies.

It's just my principle of life. Don't have, don't find a problem with it because it's not your principle. If you wanna apply it, be my guest. If you have been practicing this, then, Hi 5! We're not alone.

If you made it here, not skipping, Congratulations for reading. I've just expressed, revealed, exposed myself. I hope I won't have nightmares tonight. Vulnerable.

It's true. Girls will believe a lie more than the truth.

2012. Nerding. Giving. Living.

Gaddafi is dead. the North Korean president is dead too. A lot of people didn't make it through Christmas 2011. A lot of people didn't and won't make it to 2012. Be grateful that you're still alive and can read this. This "not making into 2011 or 2012" thought came from Pastor Henry. I'm anticipating 01 Jan 2012 to listen to what God has to say some more about 2012. It's less than a year till the notorious 21 12 12 end of the world.

My cousin told me, "We won't be here already. We'll be *points up*." When I told him he can go overseas (other places) next year, next next year. Children knows. He's 10 next year. He packed his luggage that day.

"At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said,“I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

²² “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”

Luke 10:21-22

How will next year's political climate be with 2 dictators down and protests by the youths? Would it be better or worst? I am sure the natural climate will be worst. All in all, God is in control and is sovereign. I disagree with the my class teacher in NS. He said something along the lines about Allah is not concerned, does not care about politics. Now I know why there's none Allah-fearing men in politics.

I need to live more. Not type more. Maybe not.

I read two books today. One about a boy, how a boy, Tony, thinks. It's by Judy Blume. I like the way he thinks. So straightforward. I admire his principles, but not his habit. Then I read a 13 page e-book, the Velveteen Rabbit. I watched half a movie inspired by the book a couple of days ago on nt7 and I teared. Because it's touching. I teared when I saw a Youtube video on the scene in Tangled when she is united with her parents. And also this girl wanting her father home for Christmas. The best gift ever. The message is clear and same as the Velveteen Rabbit's.

Don't rush. Or you'll miss the essence in the lessons. I won't and I don't. That's why I am where I am right now. Another principle, SLOW & STEADY. QUALITY over quantity. I went slow and steady in NS. Those hiking journeys. One of the Staff and a couple of Cikgus. "Even if it means you're the last one?" "Yes, even if it means I'm the last one." Unlike my friends who walks fast, because it's tiring- wanna reach early. So, I was the last one. With no regrets.

NS

2011-09-10T17:56:00.002+08:00

See you then.
I'll be back by December 2.

I'll update in my dairy.
Still not fully packed yet.
Not exactly ready.

Listening to Mozart - Piano Concerto No. 23 in A major, K. 488 - I. Allegro.
http://paminamozartienne.tumblr.com/

I'll come back with stories! and testimonies!
It's goanna be the time of my life with God.

Exist for such a time like these....

Love,
SWT
Queen SWT of SWTLAND

Life

2011-09-10T01:41:00.006+08:00

a Short Story

[Hope you are encouraged by it. Constructive criticism is more than welcome! btw, I know there should be indentation, but the tab button just wouldn't work on blogger! =D ]

The weasels were jumping around, playing chase with the squirrels on the open field; a crystal-clear river separated the open field and a forest of majestic trees. Even from afar you could see beautifully colored fishes swimming in the river, some weasels and squirrels have made their way to the river, watching the exotic fishes intently and curiously. Suddenly, one squirrel made the decision to dive into the river and the others soon followed. They did not swim with their heads up, there was no need too. This place is different, life dominates.

Sitting on a hill, Selena gazed at the beauty the Creator had made in this eternal home. There are many more places that are greater in beauty to be explored, but for now she was where she chose to be. She then saw a man who was painting intently on a 10’x12’ canvas. The canvas stand is gold and intricately designed. He had a paintbrush between his teeth, another on his right hand. There was another man on the scene who sat down under a tree planted by the river, engrossed in a thick book; he turned the pages of the book at a speedy pace. She observed that there were a pile of books beside him. She heard him call out, “Hey Nate, are you done?”

“Almost…” his friend, Nate, replied.

“Let’s go eat!” said Jesse, the one who was reading. He put down his book, got up and walked towards his painting friend, Nate. There is no need to worry about the stack of books he left by the tree, it would still be there when he returns.

Jesse Williams has a toned body, sandy brown hair, aqua eyes and when he smiles you would not fail to notice his dimples. His friend-Nate, however, is a little shorter than he is. He is the owner of a Greek nose, a set of inquiring brown eyes and neatly trimmed brown hair.

There is one thing that you need to know about this place: there is no need for you ask for a person’s name. Somehow, you know; even if you’ve never seen or met him or her before…you just know. It’s one of the wonders of this place!

Selena started down the hill. “Hullo there, Selena!” Jesse greeted when the three of them met at the crossroad.

“What do you think of this place?” Nate inquired.

“Oh, Heaven is awesome! It’s a dream come true, I’ve waited 18 years of my earth life to be here forever!” Selena replied. “What about you guys? What do you think? What’s your story?”

“Well, join us for food at the Lavender and we’ll tell you our story” said Jesse.

Soon after they walked past a mass open field of lavender they arrived at a little English cottage. Roses clung to the walls of the cottage like clinging vines, and fragrances emitted from the roses and lavender blended sweetly. They walked to the side of the cottage that led to a garden where desserts were served; they asked for a jug of lemonade and carrot cake with lemon frosting. Then Nate and Jesse’s story began to unfold.

“Jesse and I grew up together,” Nate began. “My grandfather inherited a forest of sugar maple trees from his father and Jesse’s family owned a farm a little downhill from my gramps’ cottage. During summer and winter holidays, when my family would visit my gramps we’d spend time with the Williams as well. The children played outdoors during summer while the adults chatted amongst themselves. When winter arrived, we’d get the privilege of watching my grandfather work with the maple trees. We’d even get to taste fresh syrup!”

By now their jug of lemonade and carrot cake were served to them. The waiter placed a glass and a plate in front of them each, and poured the lemonade into the glasses half-filled with ice cubes. Then he cut the carrot cake and put a slice on their plates. They nodded at the waiter in appreciation.

“I went to live with my gramps when I was orphaned at seven.” Nate continued, “I was reserved, seven years old and oblivious about death. I thought my parents and little sister didn’t want me and abandoned me.”

Then Jesse said, “I was happy that he came, so the verynextday I went over to his gramps’ and asked him out to play. He didn’t want to. So I invited myself into his gramps’ cottage. I would read and talk to him but he would be silent the whole time. I even wondered whether he turned deaf. Three days, it took him three days to finally speak to me! Hahahah!” The trios then took a sip from their glasses.

“Because of my reserved personality, my grandparents had me take up viola lessons from the Jesse’s uncle. ‘A medium of expression’ I overheard my grandparents. Our weekends were spent mostly in the woods when we grew older. Exploring, reading, or playing duets. It is a whole new world out there in the woods, the atmosphere is different. Ah, the sweet smell of maple, wood, and fallen leaves.” Nate reminisced while putting a spoonful of carrot cake into his mouth.

“Hmm…all that music, did you guys play swordsmen or fighting?” Selena asked.

“Ohhh yess, we did, being boys.” Jesse replied with a chuckled.

“Branches, sticks, whatever we can found or our imaginative minds invented. Once, we pretended the bows of our musical instruments were swords…….that was the first and the last time we used them.” Jesse recounted.

The two guys laughed, looked at each other then said in unison: “Hey, let’s do that again sometime!”

“Hahahah…We had costumes as well, from old clothes in Jesse’s attic. Hahah…and we pretended whatever we wanted to be-knights…”

“Kings, princes,”

“Commander…”

“The years went by quickly and soon we found ourselves going our own separate ways…education. We did not want to leave, but our elders insisted that we did for our education. ‘Make us proud’ they said, as if all those while they were not proud of us. Hahah! I entered the university and majored in architecture in a different state while Nate got a scholarship to major in Agriculture and Arts in Paris. Then somehow we lost contact.”

“So then, how did the two of you meet again?” Selena queried.

“Eight years later, when I was preparing the launch of my art book in London. An agriculture art book; watercolor paintings of flowers and trees I studied. Jesse was also in London because of a project. Here’s where it got interesting…”

Jesse leaned forward and whispered, “We met in the elevator.”

There was a burst of laughter from Nate and Jesse. Selena stared at them, “aaannnddd….what’s so funny about it?”

Finally, Nate answered, “Because of what took place,” trying to control his laughter.

“You see, I wasn’t at my best when we met in the elevator……it was the most embarrassing moment of my earth life.”

“This was what happened: We stayed in the same hotel but on different floors. When the elevator’s door opened, I saw a guy in his towel. The look on his face when he saw me was epic, but weird enough, he winked at me. On our journey down, I can’t help not to stare; I was amused. Also, he looked familiar. The guy couldn’t take it and said, “What you lookin’ at?” then I told him that he looked familiar. “No. no. no. No. I don’t know you. You don’t look familiar.” So I remained silent. Then in a split second, it dawned on me. “JESSE!”

“I did not appear wrapped in a towel on purpose. I was locked out of my hotel room when I checked who rang the doorbell.” Jesse informed, shaking his head.

"Hahah...it was the time of your life!"

"Indeed," Jesse grinned to himself.

"We exchanged contacts and met the next day. Here’s what happened,” said Nathan, and with a flick of his finger a screen appeared before them; Selena saw that the two guys were in a café in deep conversation…

“Okaaay, Nate. Let’s play catechism.”

“Wheert?”

Jesse ignored Nate and went on, “Do you believe in life after death? I think, I think, that the belief that people would cease to exist after death is intriguing…or reincarnation for that matter…but uh, even at the end of the reincarnation cycle…ultimately people…still…cease to be nothing.”

“Intriguing? Hmph…I think they may have misinterpreted the belief. Karma, sin. Buddha was trying to explain the seriousness of sin; that no matter how much good works we did to outweigh our own sin, there’s no use. It’s as if an angel is given the chance to sweep the dust off an enormous chunk of gold ONCE…a year. The gold signifying sin.”

“Seriously. That can’t be true. Did you learn all that from your Masters?”

“Uh-huh. Nooope, reading. Go discover it for yourself. It won’t take you long since you can speed read.”

Jesse then looked at Nate for some with eye contact, looking a little annoyed he asked, “What is life to you? What is the whole point of life?”

When Nathan said nothing, Jesse continued, “What do we work so hard for? A better standard of living? To fill our stomachs? Pleasure? There seems to be more to life than these. Have you not wondered about it? Life, for urban people, seems to be about being well educated to get a better life and job. Finding the love of your life to raise a family, and pay for their children’s education. Have grandchildren; so routinic. If life is about gaining wealth, material things, and status then life is meaningless when one dies. I’ve got a feeling we were created for something more. Ultimately, all would be summoned by death. Regardless of one’s status, wealth, and power.”

“Wow, you’ve given a lot of thought about it. You said created. We were created for something more. Then I guess we must look to our Creator for the answers. A watch would have to go to its watchmaker to seek its function.”

“Hmm…Okey. Perhaps I will seek His face tonight.” There was a sense of sarcasm in Jesse’s tone.

"Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless!’ You sounded exactly like Solomon, just that the present scenario is better than his. He was disappointed to a greater extend. Achievements, power, constructions, treasures, pleasures, and he denied nothing his heart desired. He tried everything under the sun but what did he conclude? Fear God, and keep His commandments. For it is the whole duty, of man."

“I think otherwise. I think we are no better. To know is one thing, but to understand is another thing. What did Solomon mean - fear God? The Ten-Commandments is IMPOSSIBLE! INhumane. Who could keep all of that? Who other than God himself? What more if we break just one of it, we are already considered lawbreakers. God is such a joker. What a joke man!”

“Fear of God comes by knowing who He is and His ways; knowing that we will be held accountable. It probably came as a result of His love for us. We love him because He first loved us; sending His only Son to die for the sins of mankind. We desire to obey and please him, and to keep His commandments because we love Him, just like the relationship with spouses. Concerning the Ten-Commandments; what if the Ten-Commandments was given just so that we humans would be conscious of sin? To show that we need Jesus. Where there is no law there is no transgression. But all of us have conscience; even if there is no law we still would know the basic right and wrong.”

Nathan continued, “We're justified by faith. God does not declare us righteous because we observe the law, if He does, faith has no value. Unless our righteousness surpasses that of the meticulous Pharisees and teachers of the law, we can't enter into the kingdom of heaven. But our human righteousness are like filthy rags to Him, no matter how righteous we appear or claim to be. Howeverr, if we have Jesus in our lives, we have his righteousness. It's not about us. It's all about Him. We can never enter heaven by our own righteousness. Jesus is the only way, truth and life. No one goes to the Father except through Him. He came to save the sinners, the lost, the outcast, the abandoned, and those who need the unfailing love of God. To give them hope and a future with Him. It is the sick who needs a doctor.

“He may say He is the only way to life, there should be some short cut. Well, if He created the universe, the earth, and treasure the relationship He had with us, He sure won’t let us spend eternity in Hell. He could send humans to another galaxy or somewhere in the immeasurable universe to be nothing, rather than having people spend eternity in Hell.”

"Ah hah, people always equate our God with love when it comes to this matter. They have forgotten that God is not only God of love; He is also God of war. He too, has emotions. He sent the flood to destroy mankind because they were too wicked. I can give you numerous examples, but the best way to seek answers to your questions is still in the Bible and in Him. Read about the journey of the Israelites to the promise land, read about King David and King Saul. And you'll know that God is not love and love only; weak and mushy. No."

Nathan continued, “There are many questions which we have no answer, perhaps it is not necessary for us to know the answers to them. Perhaps it won’t be beneficial. Well, because even if it were to be revealed to us the answers may be too great for our finite mind to comprehend.”

“But we should still seek for it,”

“While suspending judgments.”

“Until we find the answer…but how do we know whether it’s the answer for sure?”

“I guess, we just know, if not……”

“Take a leap of faith, trust or go back to suspending judgment.” Jesse sighed.

“Do you need to understand how does a TV, computer, or touch screen gadgets work before you use them? Rarely. So likewise.”

“Be credulous. Have faith. Like little children. Blessed is he who believes yet does not see. Ah, how I wish I was a child again. Carefree. Burden free. ”

“You can cast your cares on Jesus. He said his burden is light.”

“Oh, shut up already.”

“There will come a time when all our unanswered questions will be answered in a twinkling of an eye.”

“And when will that be…?”

“Soon.”

This scene came to an end, another scene soon followed. This time Jesse was sitting alone on a park bench eating a sandwich, and a sudden conviction came upon him, “God, whoever you are, whatever you’re doing, thinking. I give my life to you. Be my Savior. I’m sorry for my ignorance and how I’ve lived my life. Help me know you more. Redeem me from my sins.” Jesse pondered in his mind.

When Jesse got up after finishing his sandwich, there was a loud clamor of a trumpet, and his body ascended.

“Well, this is our story.” Jesse said.

“Whoa. What a narrow escape!” Selena said.

“We were indeed created for something much greater. To reign with the Most High, to be heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ for eternity. We were put on earth to prepare for eternity. Test, trials, challenges in this life does the character molding for this age. God set eternity in the hearts of men when He created them, just that many of us don’t realize it. Our likes, interests, desires even since we came into earth are chosen, all our days are ordained by Him. We now see this more than ever before, now that we are here. All our questions and doubts answered, and if we want to know more we can get answers instantly.” Jesse concluded.

Store up treasures in Heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and thieves do not break in and steal. Heaven’s foundation will never be shaken, because its builder is God Himself, who remains faithful even when we are unfaithful. Heaven, is the land of the living.

Nothing matters more than knowing God’s purpose for your life, and nothing can compensate for not knowing them. Without a purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason. Without a purpose, life is trivial. When life has meaning, you can bear almost anything; without it, nothing is bearable. –Rick Warren

Therefore, live a purpose driven life.

Thank you, God, Aisha Tan, Jonathan Tan, Vivian Yap, Sam Chen, and etc for making this happen! Also thank you, Steve Cioccolant (From Buddha to Jesus), Rick Warren(Purpose Driven Life), Virginia Sorensen(Miracles on Maple Hill), and many other unnamed people for your written work.

16, 18, and 21

2011-08-15T19:42:00.002+08:00

16...18...21

Blessed Birthday to SWT!

I don't blog often nowadays because I dislike the thought of other ppl knowing so much about me and I don't know much about them because they don't blog. Too much information. Now I Tumblr. Now I live more. Or perhaps not. I used the time I now spent on Facebook to blog, last time.

Maranatha!

He answers

2011-08-01T18:32:00.002+08:00

I'd like to share with you something awesome!

Two weeks ago, I decided to do a brief research/re-up on Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling because of the status updates on Facebook, some posts on Tumblr, and people were talking about it. I'm not a fan of HP, and don't intend to be one.

I wanted to find out the story line but gave up when I saw the wordiness in Wikipedia. Anyhow, I find the author's website interesting and I found out how she was inspired and HP was birthed. Ironically, it encouraged me because her scenario was similar to the one I dream myself. Volunteer. Writing.

I googled them because I wanted to find out the story behind HP. How she wanted to stop writing but evil forces did not let her. Then I read in Wikipedia that she claims to be a Christian. On what basis? Because she believes in God and attends the church of Scotland.

So....a Christian is someone who believes in God and attends church? Definitely not! There's more to it.

"So what makes one a Christian?" I asked myself.

Men believes in God. Pagan believes in God or gods. Believing in God does not make you a Christian. Attending church. uh-huh. Does going to McDonalds make you fries or a hamburger? Does going to the sea or swimming makes you a fish? Does flying make you a bird? No.

I concluded that a Christian is someone who believes and receives Jesus as the Son of God, the Savior and the Redeemer. (Which JK Rowling failed to mention.) A Christian have faith that Jesus died on the cross and paid for their sins and live a sanctified and repentant life.

All those deep, abstract stuffs.

Two days later, someone shared on the same matter. "What makes one a Christian?"

The answer was simpler and it made more sense than mine.

"A Christian is someone born again, in the water and of the Spirit."

John 3:3-5

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”

“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.

WATER does not refer to baptism. It refers to the Word of God.

SPIRIT refers to the Holy Spirit.

One week later, I doubted Jesus' love and care for me. A silly, outrageous thing to do.

12 hours later, He reminded me of His love.

"Jesus loves me this I know, For the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me,

for the Bible tells me so."

I forgot that it is because of Him that God the Father cared to look at me, that the Holy Spirit would protect and care for me.

He knows it all. all along.

Jealousy

2011-08-01T18:21:00.002+08:00

It is jealousy.

And I only realize it today.

I am jealous, that was why.

And it should not be, I don't wanna end up in Hell for being jealous over trivial matters.

It's still very difficult to get out of this mindset.

Dear God, help me.

Why not?

Because he liked her before.

So what? Not like you never liked anyone!

It's different. It was mutual. And so many.

Many? Like how many?

At least 2. Or 3

Isn't like the one in your case? So you're not going to just because of the many?

No. Not at all. Mine was not mutual, and it was brief.

Ultimately, why?! Are you insecure or what?

I just can't get it off my mind. Perhaps it's because of jealousy. Oh, no!

Contagious

2011-05-22T18:29:00.007+08:00

His LOVE is real. His LOVE is contagious and I'll show you how.

- Shers-

El Elyon 2011 - LOVE

Servers

2011-05-21T20:53:00.001+08:00

In my opinion, Firefox is the BEST server for blogger.

Do you think so too?

-SWT

Soon.

2011-05-17T20:49:00.012+08:00

"It is my joy to invite you now to please kiss your bride.” And so I did, and the wait didn’t seem so long now that she was in my arms."

boymeetsgirl, pg 221

I was reminded of these two sentences as I was reading urgent messages. He is excited. He is anxious. He have been waiting for his bride for a very long time. All preparations have been made. All that needs to be done now is to COME & GET HIS BRIDE! (Jewish wedding practice)

I am excited. To meet Him and to be with Him. When we meet Him, He'd say "The wait didn't seem so long now that you are in my arms..."

And I would say, "The wait didn't seem so long now that I am in Your presence..."

SOON

Soon and very soon
My King is coming
Robed in righteousness
And crowned with love
When I see Him, I shall be made like Him
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon

I'll be going to the place He has prepared for me

Then my sin erased, my shame forgotten

Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love

With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon

See the procession

The angels and the elders round the throne

At His feet I'll lay

My crowns, my worship

Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him

My heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ the Lamb, the Lord of heaven

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied
Soon and very soon
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon

-Sher Wyn-

come, go before Him, accept Him as your Lord and Savior, repent of your sins, before it's too late.

February

2011-02-28T23:13:00.003+08:00

Before this month of 28 days come to an end, bringing humanity to the third month of the year 2011, I have much to say. Much has occurred in just 28 days.

I am truly blessed.

It's just part of the beginning of what was prophesied last year in July.
"People will come & give, supply the needs/things needed for my destiny to be fulfilled."

I have no idea what's my destiny, it has yet to be made known to me.
But I will know when the time comes.

"Because He lives,

I can face tomorrow,

Because He lives all fear is gone.

Because I know, I know He holds the future,

and life is worth the living just because He lives."

Thank You, God

p.s. February: commemorates a festival of purification.

the Glass Jars

2011-02-09T17:33:00.006+08:00

There're plenty of 'em in the drawers of my house. Cabinets. I've stored many others in a box. Why didn't I throw them away? Why didn't I send them for recycling purposes? Because all along, I've imagined them being of great use at some point in the future. Because I imagine the day where I'll take them all out, either to give them away or for myself for artisan purposes. Glass Art. Perhaps I can store candies in 'em. Perhaps I'd be inspired & do something creative with it for presents.

Ultimately, I don't want to be discarded at all. You'll never know, when again, there'd be a war or a tragedy & these glass jars would save hungry stomachs & lives! Perhaps I've read enough war stories, viz. World World II, to have these thoughts.

I've always imagine, if ever distaster were to strike where I live, I imagined my house standing. It'd be a haven. I'll empty it of it's resources & everything in it for everyone in need. I can't stand the lifeless things around my house having no purpose yet. Why is it even around anyways? I couldn't bring myself to throw it away; that's because I've watch enough movies to imagine them being "the important thing" at some point in the future. Whether it be to rebuild a computer, radio, automobile, to construct, to repair. What seems to be rubbish now might be a treasure later. Their time has not come...yet.

And the piles of old magazines, that wasn't sent to the recycling centre, might be fire starters for cooking. The boxes of soft toys must be sent to children who have none.

-swt-

Seoul

2011-01-12T16:29:00.001+08:00

"Annyeonghaseyo!!!" in advance!

Robbed

2011-01-12T16:25:00.004+08:00

I was robbed at my own house.
I hope this is a misunderstaing.

I see this as
a trial that I will be triumphant
a test that I will pass
especially in this year - 2011

because the Lord my God
is BIG
is strong
is mighty
Nothing is impossible for Him!

because He promised me so.
because He loves me & I love Him
because He is the reason I live

His name would be praised
He would be glorified
I will testify of it
as it serves as an encouragement to many.

In the midst of Trials! we, children of the Most High
will be triumphant!!!!

-Sher Wyn-

K

2011-01-11T22:01:00.002+08:00

Korea, the land I've been dreaming off
Here I come....

Will

2011-01-08T20:34:00.002+08:00

I will begin the habit of tagging my blog posts
& I will also start to wear even more dresses, nice blouses
& less comfortable t-shirts & pants.

I will read even more...if I can/will make time
a few pages/a chapter before I sleep
this act is inspired by crooked tooth-tumblr.

I will.....

A Golden Age

2011-01-08T20:04:00.004+08:00

It's a book that inspires, paints vivid pictures & scenarios in your imagination. You could feel the characters before your eyes with your mind. You could witness what happened 40 years ago that was written down with mere words right where you are.

It was Sunday, she sat reading a book, "A Golden Age" while waiting for time to pass. As she read, she became aware of what war in her own country would mean. It's an absurd idea that any country would want to wage war with her country, but in these last days, she's not sure any more. Once, she wouldn't mind, she even look forward to confinement like that of Anne Frank. This time, fear gripped her heart, she felt overwhelmed, sad, at the tragic & struggles that the country in the book had to face. It wasn't non-fiction but it wasn't fiction either. Perhaps it's because of the solemn tune that was played, a 'contribution' to what she was feeling at that moment. She couldn't continue reading anymore. Enough! For this day.

But nothing can beat "Last Night I Dream of Peace". She would have war nightmares then.

P.s. play with words turns me on. that's why my tumblr-inspiringgobbledygook, exist. =)
p.s.s. Intro of "Oceans Will Part" ; Hillsong

Shutter

2011-01-08T19:33:00.004+08:00

after having my camera, IXUS 860 for at least 3 years now, I only realize it has 'long shutter' feature on the first night of new year, that is 01/01/11.

amazing much?

This is my first 'long shutter' picture.
Was on my way to my uncle's house.

This is my favorite, so far.

=D
-SWT-

Greeted

2011-01-02T23:26:00.002+08:00

There are many things I wanna do this year,
if only I can remember them till the end of this year,
if I'm still alive by then.

Like picking up guitar again,
Practice singing more often,
Blog more than I did last year,
et cetera! et cetera!

I also want to lose weight & change my wardrobe;
wear more long pants(urgh!) & dress girlie? Idk.

However, I started my new year 01.01.11
by having McDonalds for lunch
steamboat for dinner!
Oh! the ~~stomach~~ throat pleasure of living in Malaysia!

It's okay....
Renee says what matters is how I end.
I'll just have to end well.
I have an advantage.
I'm ~~enlisted~~ chosen for National Service
where one can eat 6 meals a day & still lose 15kgs!
oh, If only that would happen on me as well.

-SWT-

2011

2011-01-01T19:22:00.004+08:00

2011

Another 365 days filled with
adventures, excitement, trials, shakings, shocking news,
history making, difficulties.

I'm not excited about 2011, because I know it'll be exciting.
& in everything, God is in control
& that all things work for the good of those who love Him.

Compared to last year, I have become less optimistic.
I now have the 'que sara sara' attitude because I'm ...afraid.
I know that shouldn't be, but I surmise that's the reason.
Afraid. Tired. Anxious.

I'd hear of more natural disasters,
will Malaysia, continue to be shielded from heart-throbbing disasters?
I had wished to see something strike her,
to awaken the nation,
an earthquake, a flood,
I saw myself unafraid, because I know God is in control.
Now, I don't know anymore.

I think "A Golden Age"[a book] has affected me more than I had imagined.

Whatever that will happen this year-2011,
I surrender them to You, God.
There will be many trials, help me to me triumphal over them.
There will be a falling away, safeguard my fragile heart.
I need You.
Will I love grow cold? I pray not.
Strengthen me. Sustain me.
I can't do it without you. ever.
Take charge, help me put You first in everything,
I invite You into my life, my decisions, my everything,
& ask You to take full control.

"Till I see You face to face,
& grace amazing takes me home.
I'll trust in You."

http://swtland-sherwyn.blogspot.com/2010/01/halo-2010.html
can you see the contrast?

2011-01-01T19:07:00.000+08:00

Blessed 01.01.11 !!!

Go

2010-12-28T15:57:00.003+08:00

"Get up and go

Take a chance and be strong

Or you could spend your whole life holding on

Don't look back; just go

Take a breath, move along

Or you could spend your whole life holding on

You could spend your whole life holding on"

-Boys Like Girls;Go-

Kingdom 2010

2010-12-15T14:03:00.017+08:00

Let see how much of the 4 days 3 nights I can remember by pure memory alone. I won't write everything. I'll just bore you, though I'm such a narcassit & it had been a long time since I do those stuffs. bleh. I'll be recounting the incidents that is more prominent. In my previous sentence I just used 2 vocabulary which I've forgotten & now remembered thanks to my vocabulary notebooks which I brought there. I thought I will have the time to go through them all but nah, however, I suppose I read enough to use at least 3 words here-I already used two.

My luggage was not as jam pack as before. My mom actually allow me to buy instant noodle cup. We left late; the bus came late. We left Klang about 10am, we'll reached about 1pm. The bus wasn't filled but there was no space in the storage section for my bags. Chatted with Aaron, Dex, Esther throughout =) Took a picture at the rest stop.

There was a major problem with the rooming. There were enough rooms in the end, people were asked to go to their rooms & back again to the hall for a few times. We were delayed. In the end, we get to choose our room-mates!!! Up we go up the precipitous staircase. Zlwin & Jhun Hoe help the girls carry up their luggage, they're of much help =D. We crammed 6 people to a small room on the first night. The cool thing about the room(which I mistakenly called dorm many times) is that it's connected! There's a connecting door in the middle!

'Complains' about the 2 star resort....but after all it's 2 star.
Room:
Dirty. My room mate sat on the bedspread & got rashes. Soft bed. The toilet door doesn't work in some room.
1525-water pressure & heater good. Cannot lock-door.
1524-water pressure low. Nice-working door.
1515-water pressure okay. Heater doesn't work. Lose shower holder. Cannot lock-door.

Food:
Fried fishes for lunch & dinner on the first day.
Un-swallow-able beef .
The fruits is not sweet.

The coffee is not bad. The toast is fine. The sausage is nice.

Paint War
instead of hydro-war we played paint war. It's ironic that we played hydrowar in cold places but paint war in hot places. My ice-cream was melting like a time bom! under the evening Malacca sun. To lose in Paint War is to have a smiley face drawn on your base. Your life is your 'flag' - those red & white striped ones that says CAUTION. You 'kill' a person by pulling their flag which is tugged in their pants. You can only pull one flag at one time. The flag that you pulled revives your other 'dead members' in the death zone. The game was design in a way that both dead & alive can play. It's something like tag. Once your flag is pulled;which means you're 'dead' you will go to the death zone till someone comes and save you. However, to be saved, your 'hero' have to get pass a few lines of 'commitee members' who will block your way. if your flag is snatched by them, you will have to start from the beginning again.

I didn't bring my camera for this game, I regretted so when I saw the Malacca flag soaring gracefully in the sky. Getting through the death zone to save someone was adventurous. I enjoyed it. I thank God that I didn't spend all of my time in defense even though there wasn't much to defend since our base was situated on the other end & our neighbors were our allies.

While at the death zone, EC let me pass, I didn't believe him when he asked me to pass, he asked for a low/high 5. I think at one point my GA(I found out on the last day) let me pass too. Hah! they made my life at that moment easier. I try to avoid Sam Ong, because she's good & she'll catch me & I'll have to start from the beginning & she's at the end. heheheh. It's easier when there's a lot of people & the committee is distracted, one will get pass a whole lot easier. Team work, ah!

I painted on Joel Ong's shirt(that says I ♥ myself) in defense. I hope the paint will come off, it wasn't buncho paint, it was banner paint. For a long time our base was untouched. Kings & Queens which we wanted to 'annihilate' first was really strong. You see, when a smiley face is drawn on your base, your whole team dies. It's the last team standing that wins! However, one can be revived to play for another team.

Sam Chen in a way leaded us in this game stragetically, she knows & tells us what to do We made strong alliance. Perhaps because of 'popularity'-friends. It's not-so-fair then for people who are new. Nothing's perfect.
Sam Goh, my partner for the group last year was their leader.

When a few teams got 'annihilated' & 'plundered' , we have to shift our base. At this point our defense were SLEEPY! I was redepping my paint-brush, not paying attention & Anita were telling others where to stand, they weren't exactly responsive, perhaps they couldn't care less. It was at this point where an indian girl in pink came & draw a smiley face at our base & we DID NOTHING! zomg! It was right after a victory. However in a way it's appointed because I can't imagine going to battle with Sam Goh, Sam Chen, Christina & etc. I played for their team later. In the end, after much struggle they won!

I was very defensive of the base, because of the enperience moments ago & because of Owen L. who said I'm in the team & attempted to draw the smiley face. I lifted up his shift(unconsiously) serching for the flag, "Where's your flag?! You're dead already!" "What? Oh no" and the tumbled & rolled on the ground. drama. thankfully he didn't cheat & continue drawing. Later, other people came & said "I'm in the team" or "to get pain" even if they are, I wasn't as credulous as before.

It was obviously tiring for the ppl at the death zone. heh.

monetry system
there wasn't any monetry system this year. We don't speand our time bodek-ing the ppl with the 'money'. Being their 'slave' & doing things for the sake of $, when we're a citizens of a kingdom.

multimedia
I like the crew this year. They film ppl regardless of who they are. Actually, the gagets were more canggih(advanced), there were more experience people. Joel Silas(featured in the Cluedo Teaser) is dissatisfied(so am I) about the lightings(the resort off the lights already, so it's dark & we can't see even more properly).

Guardian Angel
This year's GA-mortal game was determined by someone(or M. Excel). My mortal for GY camp 2010 is from my 2009 group! So I had no trouble looking for him. At the end of the camp when I told him I'm his GA, he was like "Serious?!" many times. It's the first time I offered a hug. Little bro. I hope there wasn't any technical error delivering the smiley faces 'erasers'.

My Guardian Angel is a thoughtful one. One question I asked concerning his identity were, "Is he older than me?" to which (I think) I got a vague YES answer, I still have doubts. I got fruits for dinner...lunch...with tissue. I've said this many times because someone received fruits but no tissue, I didn't notice, but Christina did. The first time he delieved himself & the 2nd Aaron did. I got/was delievered 2 cups of syrup(by Darren) for breakfast because "the sambal that day is hot". I already had an unfinished cup of coffee, and a cup of syrup. hahah. Cute.

The candle & candleholder from Ikea smells good. I enter my room yesterday & wondered, "What's that nice smell? I don't remember lighting anything...." I tried to smell it in Malacca but I smelt nothing. xP. I got a candle cane decoration on the second night. I didn't know it was for me, "So nice!!!!" Renee & nana didn't tell it was for me until they asked for my opinion. I like the fact that he wrote it on black paper with silver pen. Cursive writing. "He must be a homeschooler!" I thought he wrote the G wrongly when I forgot how to (exactly)write the G myself (my bad). Yeah, I'm right. He was a homeschooler.

Renee, Vivian tried to hint, kind,,nice....They knew who he was. Suspected. Then said they were wrong. All these while Lilian thought he was her GA. "It's so (him)." --her GA gave her a puzzle & gave the pieces day by day. I took a video of the girls & guys singing/practicing for serenading to her & other people. I showed it to her that night(3rd)[she stayed on the other side of the connecting door]. When she saw him in the video, it was a confirmation to her. hahhaah. but somehow, deep within unconsciously I thought "there might be an unexpected twist or turn". So now I don't need to feel guilty showing her the video.

I was expecting something on the 3rd night. Perhaps because I came late that's why there's no fruits for me. =( Even though it's not sweet, but I like receiving fruits. There's no junk food(Nana:because he knows you don't (really) eat 'em). I was *downcast* LOL. There must have been some technical problem; I hope. Next time please address gifts to your mortal BY NAME.

"Aren't you Lilian's GA" was the first thing I said when he revealed himself.
I was really surprised. He gave me chocolates & apologized for/if he didn't gave me enough......."it's okay!"
I like the fruits & the 2 cups of syrup, I should have brought a tupperware to save it for later. It's the thought that counts.

After that I immediately flew to tell my friends. They weren't surprise at all! Geezzzz. They knew it all along. hah! That's the good/bad thing about this GA game.

I wonder did they arrange the GA thing according to size. 3 years ago, my GA was about the same height & size as this years. They'll be nice to hug & one will feel safer! heheh. Boyfriends their stature. hmm...

The Talk
On the first night, nana & I went to our neighbor's room via the connecting door & had girlie, spiritual, realistic talk. There was no security, they went to *zeng zeng zeng*. The next day, during the workshops all the topics they touch on or implied were what we discussed that night!!! Our insecurities, opinions, fears, observation, dissatisfaction....... It's so cool. Confirmation much. Spirit of God blowing through, we all caught the message that it was blowing through us.

Christina was like *huh?* when I said/asked whether she realize his(someone's) eye twinkle. I ask another 2 person, they noticed it too. gorgeously attractive......but so what? heh

to be continued.....
speakers
The speakers, George(UK) & Stephen (Ireland) are from Avanti ministry[Tony Anthony]. They really are 'laid back'.

cluedo
the victory-freedom we know
click HERE for more pictures.

different

true colors.

2010-12-02T12:59:00.003+08:00

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

James 1:2-4
The Message

Click HERE to read the whole encouraging chapter filled with wisdom.

Memory Lane

2010-11-24T00:53:00.004+08:00

It struck me that place is filled with memories of what it used to be before a "Great Shifting" took place. The corners, the doors, the gates. Should it be called shifting? or should I call it a Tragedy? I should review my vocabs for often. Now, things will never be the same & can never be the same.

Slowly, I'm forgetting.

perhaps, it's for the good.

What matters now is the present.

However, if the past & the present is linked, and something needs & MUST be done to make amendments for the sake of the future, it will have no excuse.

foot, foots, feet, feets

JUSTICE. RIGHTEOUSNESS.

are you treating young ladies, your female friends as sisters with all purity?

Options

2010-11-24T00:27:00.003+08:00

It's working, I hope.

I'm letting go.

I'm forgetting; for the good.

I told myself to widen my options, look at my surrounding. Thank God recently I wasn't kept within the walls & doors of my house. I had the privilege to breathe even more freely, which prevented 'depression' from lack of conversations with my former-classmates. I thought about the other options & saw the possibilities. I realize all these while I wasn't ready yet, emotionally, mentally. Like what I remember reading, which made a lasting impression, Continue being yourself, and when you're ready for it, someone will notice you.

so does it mean when a lot of people notice someone it means they are more than ready for it? When nobody realize someone it means they are not ready for it at all yet?

Life & it's struggles is a never-ending process. The struggles & things I face might come back to me, it might be tiring, but most of the time I will be reminded, or I will remind myself of what I've learnt & know. Sometimes I wonder, am I like Anne Frank, who [expected]by herself have to be good & encourage herself at her own means;with God. I thank God that I know Him that in Him I can always find that comfort. You can too, if only you let Him. =)

It's a pathetic fact that I recently I only write stuffs I feel strongly about. I dismiss the disappointments, the sad news. Reason being, I don't want to be reminded of them when I read back. There's pros & cons in this.

In everything there is pros & cons, and everything is not it really is. There's always an exception, always a but, in morals of life;in application. It will divert & lead to another direction. You will never understand unless you are in the other person's shoes.

I wish life is more simplified. I've wondered recently, what will I do, what will I be, who will I be if I were to live in a different environment. Will I still be a journalist? photographer? what? Then, finally, I thought what will happen then if I were to be born in the 3rd caste system in India, live in the dumpster in Philippines. It would be a totally different life. So, I finally concluded again that we exist for such a time like this, and that where we are is not a mistake overlooked by God. We'll need to trust in God, who holds our life together.

♥Korea

2010-11-17T19:24:00.002+08:00

http://www.haru2010.com/eng/index.aspx#/main/

♥Korea ♥Kim Bum ♥Photography ♥Food ♥Traveling ♥Writing

History;brought through

2010-11-03T19:41:00.006+08:00

She came back home tired, it was a long & eventful Sabbath. She turned the TV on, changed the channel to 8tv to watch the handsome Godfrey Gao; another eye-candy of hers. She is attracted to his sexy beard, just like Joseph Fiennes. Oh, but too bad. I think she came back too late; she probably missed the show. She can't remember but it doesn't matter. She pushed the button '2' on the remote control, TV2. What a channel to watch, little did she know TV2 have really good shows to watch; you just need to know WHEN it's showing.

That day, the show was about a king of England, she longed for a mention of names so that she'll know who was it about; it was a long wait. It came unexpectedly, 'Cromwell' rang chimes in her mind but she just can't recall! "Oh, dearie me!" she exclaimed in her thoughts, "Either I'm too tired or I'm having amnesia!" she continued. Anyhow, she kept on watching the show. She don't understand much of the movie, but told her self to remember the features of it so that when she refer to her history book later, it would form a clearer picture.

The people were against their king. "What have the king done? to cause such hatred & dissension among his own people? He looked so calm & serene......" she wondered. The king was then beheaded publicly! She thought he would be sent to the guillotine but no, to her shock & dismay, he was beheaded with an axe! It's her first time witnessing this type of beheadment. "Which English king was beheaded? gah! I can't think!" she complained.

She didn't watch the rest of the movie, she was too tired, a shower is what was needed then. Later, when she looked back at her history book, she realized she learnt about this king recently, & have penned down what passed through her thoughts as she read those words.

She then remembered what God had promised her a couple of months ago, He had promised that He would bring her through the school subjects at which she is struggling through! He had shown himself true & faithful to His words & promises once again. She is grateful.

A week later, she was in her relative's house. She watched & enjoyed the History channel which her house doesn't have; they were showing a documentary about Marcus Aurelius. She learnt about his brother, and that Meditations was his journal during war times; not just some writings of his. She learnt so much more than what her history book had thought her. She saw them as divine appointment, it didn't happen by chance. "All things work for the good of those who love Him...according to His purposes." Since then, history channel & history would appeal to her much more than ever before. There might times when she would struggle with History, but she doesn't have to be troubled, because she serves a mighty God who loves her, she is His child, & forever will be.

P.S. 3 days ago, they showed "The King & I" the 1956 film.

-Sher Wyn-

Mercy

2010-11-03T19:27:00.002+08:00

“He who conceals his sins does not proper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy”

Proverbs 28:13

Why do you, then, ask me to show him mercy out of the blue?

So, what had he done that I have to mercy to him?

How was I not showing mercy?

By telling you what he did? By telling the truth?

Am I not showing mercy because I told the truth, because I cared of his & her well being. I’m being merciless by telling the truth? or is there something else that you forgot to tell or too embarrassed to say?

What is mercy then? What do you mean by MERCY? I wonder

Like how I was shown mercy? What mercy was I shown?

Sorry, I don’t like complicated stuffs. Please do simplify your implication. I don’t wanna decode your message, I’d be accused of decoding wrongly then.

I see how blessed I am now. I am thankful for those who cared enough to voice their impatience & intolerance so that I can be better & improve.

Now i pity her. I pity him. I pity them.

(What a waste of space)

No one cares enough or dared to say anything. You know perfectly why? Perhaps you don’t. Because you’re human, there are times when you don’t listen to other people. You are right & everybody elses is wrong.

Mercy?LOL.

if he confessed it & renounced it, & turned away from it. He would have gotten more than mercy. But hold on, he have a reputation for speaking empty & meaningless words. hypocrite!

I have been wanting to say this all these while, & I wondered why I didn’t.

Happiness & Love♥

2010-11-03T18:59:00.003+08:00

I don’t like movies/shows/series where a person with another person(mother/father/in-laws/etc)does anything & everything so that the person they claim to “”love”” could be with them(marry) and not another person.

Are you confused by the person, person, person thing? I’ll give the names then. e.g. Stairway to Heaven: Cholo ♥ Jodi…….Eunice “”♥”” Cholo

Eunice+Mother….plots&scheme hard against Cholo+Jodi; so that Cholo would marry Eunice. This is pathetic!

If you love someone, you’ll want them to be happy & not be in misery. Like Tristan & Jodi. Even if Cholo were to end up with Eunice, it will never be a happy marriage. He’ll think of his real love, and she will be paranoid-then everyone around her would have to suffer.

In real life, this happens. What’s the point??? It’s tiring, pathetic, sad, tragic, & doesn’t benefit you or anyone. Keep your options open. Don’t give up the entire forest just because of a tree. Don’t give up the entire ocean just because of a fish.

Keep relationships simple! =D

no no no, the end does justify the means; Machiavelli.

I don’t like looooooonnnngggg series. End it sooner. Don’t drag. It’s boring. Don’t beat around the bush. Be concise. Hurry up!!!!!

Conclusion: Don’t watch. Let the ratings drop! hah!

Tested

2010-11-03T18:42:00.002+08:00

“For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:37

Learnt by experience that whatever that we said would be tested. Telling God, singing from your heart out to God, “You give & take away, My heart will still choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.” requires courage. If you meant what you sang, you can be sure that you would be tested."

This testing is beneficial eventhough it will be painful & uncomfortable. It will reveal what is in us that needs pruning from God. We’ll then learn from those experiences. We’ll then be more careful with what we say & how we say it then.

Reflect on the statements that you have made confidently turning out to be empty words & promises. They made you a hypocrite don’t they?

“I will never be like her” , “I’m different from all other girls” , “I will never marry”, “I will never do that to ____”, yadayadayada.

Don’t be weighed down too much, you’re not alone.

*********

I’ve made it known that I desire my future husband to be someone who never had a girlfriend. I’ve also listed other criterias that showed insecurities; I realized later. I made those lists knowing that it will change as I grow older & as I myself change & mature. I also know that there are criterias that should not be altered: 1. Love God more than he loves♥ me 2. A apt spiritual leader who can&will lead & encourage me into a deeper relationship with Christ. 3.Was never involved in a mutual love relationship.

I can share things. but I won’t share my man.

Should I ever compromise? Never! But the temptation is there. “Come on!It’s goanna be the end of the world. Will you survive 10 years? The Blessed Hope. the Tribulation is nearer than ever! You still want you “first kiss at the altar?!” You bore me. Imagine….ah, how nice it is to be cuddled & pecked. It shows you are loved.Don’t tell me you don’t want. If a guy comes & sweep you off your feet, what will happen? Will you reject him because he’s not God sent?! Time is running out! Look at where you’ve come from, has anyone showed any interest? No. Not that you remember or cared.”

There are times where I don’t recognize this voice-from whom it’s coming from. It’s from the deceiver.

God knows what’s best for me, He gives me only His best. It is my responsibility not to sin against my own body. I don’t attract flies; I attract butterflies! or birds-not vultures though. So what if nobody showed any interest? So what if I don’t marry? Life’s too short now. Marriage lasts only until death. There’s a reason in “Till DEATH do us part” In Heaven, there’s no such thing as marriage. I desire friendship. I desire a marriage--if my generation can still last for another 10-15 years—to be like that of Hannah Tan & Ram’s. God knows the desires of our hearts, He sets it in us.

I have to hold on to what I have made known, they look forward to see who this man would be. Would he be like what God has set in my heart? Or would I compromise like some reckon I would?

With God’s help, I’ll remain faithful to my heart’s desire & to Him. It’s not easy but I know it’ll be worth it.

Perhaps I said what I said then, I desired what I desired because I’ve heard & seen enough stories. I can push unnecessary & uninvited flies away from me. It’s saying “I have no interest in you, my friend, because you’ve had a girlfriend/or girlfriends before. So however friendly I am to you, no matter what ppl tell you(that I actually like you & blahblahblah). It’s false & you don’t stand a chance. So forget it! Hah!” rofl.

Simplify it!

2010-11-03T17:38:00.002+08:00

I don’t like complicated relationships, I don’t like complicated & long movies/series/shows, I don’t like the feeling that comes after it.

It weighs my heart down.

long for justice. long for simplification.

I like complicated math problems better; at least there’s always a simple solution to it.

Again

2010-10-15T21:41:00.006+08:00

yesterday, someone dialed the wrong number;once again.

Me: Hellooo?

Chinese Auntie: Ini Money Changer ka?

Me: No.

*In Mandarin-i think*

Chinese Auntie:*hangs up*

I believe it's a Chinese Auntie; most probably a grandmother whose travel destination is China, because of her accent.

Malaysia it is, a country whose majority of its citizens knows how to speak 3 languages, if not 4 if he/she knows how to speak Tamil. And oh, the Chinese dialects: Hokkien, Cantonese, Mandarin, Hakka, etc.

There's BM, English, and Mandarin.

Hmmmp...though we are all so different, I would admit we live harmoniously with each other.....with some inevitable issues. At least we don't have a civil war or segregation.....yet?

Or there might have been but I'm just unaware of it....

After reading an article today from a Nasi Lemak wrapper(newspaper dated 4th October2010)about the hot weather,I thought to myself, perhaps I shall be a columnist instead of a journalist! like that man in "Marley & Me"

She, the columnist who married a Japanese & is now staying there said that mercury soared to 39 Degrees Celsius in Japan. How sales of cold drinks, desserts, summer clothes & deodorant shot up. People would be seen wearing hats, caps & sunglasses. She commented of how her friends would on air-cond when they go out. In previous summers, one could sleep with only the fan on, it's otherwise now, you need to on the fan & the air cond; if not the fan would circulate HOT AIR, or was it even with the air cond on...? can't rmb.

I experienced a scenario similar to that, for just one day & I couldn't stand it! I wondered if the weather is this bad even in October, how would the weather be during the Chinese New Year?! =O

p.s. This year is indeed a VERY HOT year, with many fires; as prophesied & said on Watch Night Service 30/12/2009. 

House Numbers

2010-10-13T20:14:00.008+08:00

*telephone rings*

Me: Hello?

Person: Hello, lfjlsjfoiuarriwfkfsae Alam Sekitar Utara jhdajhdajdaldkl;ajlkjalkdjaldoiuioue tong sampah siuroiurdfafjlsj siofuoisursnfsjflksoriusrklfs lfjsluriursamfrsjrlkl

Me: *indah water? =O* *owh...then visualizing them placing'tong sampahs' in front of my house @ the field. thought to myself:"Where are they going to put it?!"

Person: *continued* ajhdaueoiauda,dnajdjfaosiur[;akd;lakdnabajhd.

Me: huh? *pause* Can you speak in English?^.O

Person: Erm, ada orang lain tak?

Me: Oh, nanti ya. 

Paapppaaaaa--aaaaaa!

*why can't he speak in English?is it so hard?*
*ah then you'll be asking me "why can't YOU speak BM, is it so hard?*

(in Mandarin)

faster! faster! faster!; the person is waiting. faster! 

Dad: Ya, eiuadjadjalji saya Encik P. (for P. Ramlee-hahah)

jdlkajdoiauendajdlkja sini bukan Alam Sekitar, ini rumah. aeuaueoiuoidadjlajldaejklj 4000 askyiuayeiuahjl;jfsjfsfsdaj ya.

*hangs up*

*in Mandarin,*

Me: What is it?What does he want?

Dad: He dialed the wrong number, they thought we're Alam Sekitar.

Me: Owh.What did they dialed?

Dad:4820 

Previously, people called my house asking for currency exchange rate. I forgot what number they dialed; I hope I've got it written down--- A guy finally stay long enough on the phone for me to ask what number he dialed. His voice sounds nice...hmmmm I wonder how does  he looks like...he sounded attractive. *shhuuussh!* xP

If not this, people would call and ask for people who don't live in my house, and they're of another race. (I'm not racist! =D)

-That was my afternoon-

I grinned to myself later, reckoning that if angels were present then they'll be laughing....

2010-10-10T23:02:00.000+08:00

10.10.10

Desires

2010-10-08T19:56:00.008+08:00

All of us have desires; that's if you're human. Whether it was voiced or hidden & unspoken of; the Father knows it all. "Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

What does "Delight yourself in the LORD" mean? I might have read concerning this somewhere. I can't recall. However I want to say that It's true. I've experienced it, several times. It was unspoken, hidden in the depths of my heart. I didn't ask for it, I desired it.

Once while shopping for some groceries at a mall, I walked through the Ice-cream section & looked longingly at a heart-shaped strawberry ice-cream coated with chocolate & nuts. *slurp!* I knew in my heart that my mother won't agree to buy me that; so I didn't even bother to ask. I walked away, thinking about that lovely ice-cream. Later, while I was standing in front of a store opposite it; my uncle-which I met earlier-came to me with that very same ice-cream I desired!!!

God, is behind this, I am certain because this uncle lives in another side of the town, it's very unlikely for him to turn up at the mall I was at. Whatmore, it was exactly the same ice-cream I desired. It wasn't another flavor,shape,type,brand. It was the exact one.

=) Thank You, Daddy in Heaven.

Recently, I had unspoken desires[now revealed] for Original crunchy nougat, Kinder Bueno, and Nutella. Everytime I see Kinder Bueno & Nutella at the mall, I'll look longingly at them. 'Someday' I will comfort myself. hahah. I loved the Original Crunchy Nougat ever since my aunty bought me the mixture type. Apricot I ♥ too! Anyways, last month I got ALL of 'em ! for free! They were gifts from my aunties. Bought @ the airport. My mother bought the nutella.

I love every single moment of Nutella! I ate most of it with organic crackers!which made it even more yummy! I ate it couple of times with bread. I prefer it with crackers. It tastes like ferro; all these while I didn't know that, let alone taste that. heheh =D

Thank You, once again. God.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

-SWT-

11.34P Sat

Where?

2010-09-09T13:53:00.003+08:00

Where did she went?

Perhaps she doesn't exist any longer.

Evaporated into thin air.

.Transformed.I take heart in; that every detail work out for the good of those who love Him. it's not what I want any longer, rather it's what's my purpose here.What's my purpose of existing in this mad world. I don't want to live a meaningless life, chasing after what the world seems to be chasing; although it's VERY tempting. Lost the passion.

Store up your treasures in heaven where moth & rust do not destroy; where thieves do not break in & steal(EARTH), for where your treasure is there your heart will be also.

Perhaps it's because I've wandered away myself, thinking I can do it by myself; shifting the focus of what He can do, to what I can't do. So today I realized in Romans 8 where I went wrong. Heavy heart. It's easy to lose sight of what everything really is. Mind wanders away...

It's when you're soaring high & think you can do it yourself without God that is the worst times of your life and not when you're feeling downcast, in the wilderness & clinging your very life to God.

I hear, but I don't listen. It's as if it've fallen on deaf ears.

Perhaps I need something new.

P.S. Daddy; come & get me.

P.s.s. Try living the life of an only child who's homeschooling.

I miss Dev, Franz, Ai Theeng, Amanda, Janelle, Alicia, Panzer, Carson, Calvin, Ariel, Allie, Isaac, Adam the bf, ... the ones that walked me through those more difficult times.

why not?

2010-08-31T22:37:00.004+08:00

why can't we ppl see & speak only the best of others?

humanity. A topic that takes forever to understand.

Annoy

2010-08-26T19:42:00.005+08:00

Recently, I went back to an old forum which I participated in. I remember checking it almost everyday. Years later, I'd google search it to re-read them. It brings joy to my heart & smiles to my lip. I 'met' someone there, didn't get to see who the person really is until about 2 years ago. It was a miracle! Or should I say divine appointment? I liked the way we "'fought'"; I was 13-14 of age then. You know, that age. heheh

But that's not the reason I'm writing this. I went back there a few days ago by way of google search since I must have deleted the link from my bookmarks.

This visit was different from the rest, I find myself annoying @ some point. I couldn't stand my short forms; e.g. tat, dun, noe, wat. Also, how I talked, it gets on my nerves. I sounded more like Ah Beng than Ah Lian. Perhaps that's why I wasn't exactly welcomed by some people in the new school then; but some already have problems among themselves already before I existed in their midst.

Language Arts changed me, for good. I'm more aware of importance of language. If only people gets shit in to their face whenever they say it, they'll think thrice before saying it. The word shit should not be use to describe anything but what it is.

I need & have to learn by heart more descriptive words & actually use them. Adjectives. Even if I'll be ask "What ___ did you get into again?!" hahah

-Sher Wyn-

Speech

2010-08-26T19:22:00.003+08:00

Those who have stood up for the cause of justice & righteousness in this country risked not only their lives. If these people who are the nation's own have to flee to another country for refuge, go into hiding; how much more the others?

The freedom of speech practiced here is not the same as in the United States. Think twice before saying anything, and don't use "freedom of speech" to justify.

P.S. Home.

I'm filled with shortcomings & flaws. I'm worst than I think I am.

I miss some of the old me. Where did my courage went for its holiday?

Maids.

2010-08-25T17:36:00.004+08:00

My observation concerning maids.

Indonesian maids have at least one and more of the following:

Complains (about everything),

Sulks,

Fantastic Story Inventor & Teller

Practices witchcraft

Gets jealous or envious.

Spirit of division

from broken families

have unforgettable, tragic memories

Unforgiving

Have family of their own.

Left their husband & children in Indon

have mental problems

Yes, I know they are humans. Yah yah, they came all the way from their homeland to work; it's not easy & blah blah blah. However, I now see them as wolves in sheepskin. Have you ever consider where they came from; their family backgrounds, and also WHY THEY CAME. To flee from their abusing relatives, parents, husbands? To earn money for their husband & children? Men don't work as much as ladies have to; so I heard. To have a maid is similar to having trouble, language barrier. They will be 'part of the family'. You live with them; at least in the same house. You have to pay them, bear their mood swings, provide them food, clothes, and you have a language barrier challenge.

One of the reasons maids are hired by families is to lighten their load of housework; it's ironic that a large number of them have no idea of housework. They have not met the mop, vacuum cleaner, blender, television, rice cooker until they were recruited into work. And we have to teach them, from the very basics, they don't understand because of language barrier; sign language have to be used. Pathetic. It's a norm that they spoil things that is impossible to be spoiled.

My impression on maids have been tarnished since the time we sent the maid who worked for us home; and it's getting worse. And no, I don't believe in ""Christian Maids"" now. Most Americans will say that they are ""Christian"" and lived as if God doesn't exist. Don't define a Christian by it's term or name, define it by their way of life.

I have to remind myself that they are also humans, that Jesus died also for their sins. I need to forgive them for whatever they've done. They are troubled souls & people; who doesn't turn to their god but to witchcrafts when they want something. They pray to their god, boasts how big he is, saying he's the one true god, whom they believe will forgive their sins if only they do their ritual prayers & go on pilgrimage. But if he is that big, why do they even need witchcraft?

I know I sound "biased". Please note that "they" is regarding them in general, not as a whole; everybody. No, it's not every single one of them. There are better ones.

Leaving you with one question, How should we relate to them? You can't treat them too well, you can't treat them to harsh. What happens if moderation doesn't work? I respect the practice of families where the maid doesn't eat on the same table in a family dinner. Doesn't go out during with the family during family time unless really unnecessary. I admire men who live by set principles, knowing & practicing the difference between their own family & maids. No, they don't mistreat the maids.

I'll never trust my child(if I ever have any) with a maid. The first three years of a toddler is vital & crucial. No maids, especially Indonesian, should ever interfere. I've never enjoy or even like the sight of a maid handling a toddler while mommy & family does shopping or etc. Never. I'll straight away think about the 3 years & the effects it will have on the child & the family.

-SWT-

Pleasant

2010-08-10T20:13:00.002+08:00

I had a pleasant dream today.

No running away from bad people.

No gun pointing at me

No running or walking away.

I was in fact sitting!

Woohooo!

On a happy note,

I was in a camera/photo shop!

Having done doing my stuffs

Developing photos I assume

in fotokem, klang parade I think

Someone was buying a DSLR

I inquire & found out that it's on special promotion

the sales person took a flyer from somewhere behind the counter

from the price of RM1200 (I wonder what quality dslr would that be)

it dropped to RM 300-400 (how ridiculous)

The peson go on saying that a lot of people buy

(selling like hot cakes)

I even get to hold it & snap pictures(portrait)of my relatives

who was walking to my direction from afar.

Surprising there's memory card inside. =D

It was a Nikon.

I was like, "Nikon? but i like Canon better......."

I might have thought about what Vivian told me once about

Nikon being cheaper(not in quality) & the lenses.

I was thinking a bout the lenses.

After that I even dream about food.

It's suppose to be my cousin's restaurant in PJ

Pier 39

but it doesn't look like it.

Thank you God, for answering my prayer of granting me a pleasant dream.

No nightmares!

Crave

2010-08-08T20:35:00.002+08:00

and im wondering whether am i suffering the big D

today i abstained from Cempedak

I thought about ice-cream cronetto

hungry

I stopped myself when I saw a meeting dismissed.

because when I want to eat junk food,

a lot of people would be there.

I realized that when I ate junk food,

which is unusually.

There would be a crowd of people.

I can't help but think about the random thoughts people would have.

"She so fat ede somemore wanna eat that."

"She must love chocolate & eat them a lot, look at her face."

"Just look at her size."

and all those crap

Perhaps they didn't think that, perhaps it's just me.

It probably is me.

If we don't get to eat what we really really really crave

just because of health consideration

the poison as a result of that unsatisfied craving will be more poisonous than the food itself.

But course, we know our boundaries

Everything in moderation.

Judgments

2010-08-06T23:22:00.004+08:00

Why do some of us feel judged? Why are we so afraid of public opinions? Why are we so afraid of what people think? There's an endless list of "Wise Sayings & Phrases" that tells us not to feel that why. e.g. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, the fear of man is a snare, be the original you, and bah blah blah. But self-help is no help at all! Thinking about them won't solve the problem. We normal brush those feelings away, pretending we're okay, pretending we're alright. We think that by pretending, we can fool ourselves into being really okay. Fake smiles, fake laugh.

My observation is that either we're or have been judgmental people ourselves, or we have judgmental people around us. We hear comments people make about others, we witness our friends back stab their best friends, we hear our parents yak, or we were the people guilty of that. It'll cause us to think, "If that person is able to talk about other people like that, what would that person say behind my back then?!" Then we grow afraid. It's the norm. We get affected by people's reactions, especially during a random period of low self-esteem,.identity crisis, or even depression.

Or, our minds make judgement, so we wonder & know at the same time others make judgments concerning us as well. But, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Matthew 7: 1-5 Sermon on the Mount

God, deliver & save me!

Ryu Goto

2010-07-26T14:02:00.009+08:00

I found another Prodigy in Utube.

Ryu Goto

more importantly; he's charming, adorable, & handsome.

and he's 22 this year.

I've never google pictures & save them since Jesse McCarteny ~~& Zac Efron~~

This was the first video I watched-the source of my interest in him.

Caprice no 24? He played this @ 7; which is astounding.

Paganini was a maestro.

Brahms 18years old?2006

-Sher Wyn-

p.s. he reminds me of Van Ness Wu.

they look similar---to me

Harry Potter? haha

Quotes

2010-07-25T21:10:00.002+08:00

two quotes that have not left me since I last heard them are:

"Hurry up.

I wanna get back home in time to watch some crazy reality show

so that I can feel normal again."

-after a crazy day [10 things I hate about you]

"Memories are too precious to be forgotten."

-concerning keeping a journal [Stefan to Elena]

her babies

2010-07-25T12:29:00.005+08:00

zoomed x15 out the window with mosquito netting

This mother bird made her nest on the roof of my house, above my room's ceiling. I can hear them; day & night. It's annoying; even with music on I can still hear them. So these few days I did not look forward in spending time in my room. Even after past sleeping hours, I can hear the wood paneling above the ceiling be moved.

However, it also dawn on me that it might be a blessing, though it's annoying. I wondered why of all houses my house?! Whatmore a few houses are empty here! But, how many get to HEAR the development of baby birds? How I wish I can see what's really going on up there!

With those sound I could surmise that they were fluttering their wings; their parents teaching them the technique of flying. Or I will know if the mother bird had brought back food by the noise & commotion they made. I have seen drawings of how the eagle brought back mice/worm with the baby eaglets lifting their necks & throats upwards fighting for the repast---that is what I picture the scene up there like.

p.s. the pigeons came back too *sigh*

when I have the time; I write these in third person & make it more lively, interesting, and mysterious.

misssing

2010-07-24T16:55:00.006+08:00

I tossed I turned. It have been months, I realized later. I thought, pondered, wondered, figured. I dreamt.My mind being extra active at night. Sleep seems out of my mind. It's not like this, I thought to myself. No, not until recently. What then is the reason? What occurred?

Then I know, I found out, through introspection. It's because I no longer have company. I've gotten use to chatter before, during, and after school; now it's different temporarily. At times I miss people. I crave humans! haha

Dev's random questions, Franz's whining, arguing with Panzer. Sometimes I wish moments from the past can be held till now, where everyone was still around, where everything was still in place. When Joel, Dexter were still around. Or even when Erica, Mallessa, Jerry, Vern Vern, An An, Jess, Jo, Steffi, Mark, Claudia were there.

Especially when Alicia was still around and I believe in best friends. When I read to the max. When we were called Ms. Giggles & Ms. Laugh. When we ta pao mee goreng and ate in the bedroom. When we made "video"s together. When I was introduced to KevJumba for the first time. When I finished reading the Chronicles of Narnia before it was made into movies. When Silky chew the back cover of Prince Caspian and it was cellophaned back.

When I was carefree. When I was full of courage. When I couldn't be bothered about what other people think about me. When I was not afraid to be fully myself. When I was not afraid to speak my mind. When I want to be really different. When all I want is to be different from the rest.

But, it's okay. I'm where I am now because of the journey & adventures I've walked through. I've endured till now. I'm a survival. With God's help. I experienced His mercy, grace, & faithfulness.

I miss Dev's Random Questions. They made me think, made me speak, cause me to discover myself; what I hate, what I dislike, what I think, what I feel. I'm blessed to have done all that fearlessly; because of who he is. Perhaps because he forgets quickly most things that were said, I don't feel judged or condemned about my opinions. He choose the things he wants to remember & discards things of little importance; so your secrets is safe with him-because he can't remember them. =D I'm free to be myself without fear of being looked at differently the next time we talked.

"So tell me Sher Wyn, what do you think of ......."

"Okay, I have a question for you."

"Random Questions."

"Can I ask you anything? Anything huh. Anything. And you'll have to answer honestly."

those algebra inside joke with dex. & that after PE incident. you like to bring them up often to laugh about it(especially about algebra, naught. dex!). Not forgetting the egg incident.

Franz, your endless whining; which gets on my nerves initially until you ~~doodle~~ drew half of a sword in my notebook that pasar malam day. Your asking of me to score your work because you were too ~~lazy~~ tired to ;with Dev beside you. "Yes, mother" when I ordered you to do your corrections. Potential-mother-in-the-future. All the crazed. Not forgetting you always overwhelmed with suspicion about my friendly concern for ahem ahem. The way you express that thought makes me grin. =DDD Perhaps because of the look on your face & the tone of your voice. And oh! that incident which you 'silenced' me! hahahahaha. sexist me

" ....... are stupid. They all share one brain. When one is using it, the others wait for their turn."

"Hmm....but you're still affected most by them." =D

and you and your never ending smiley face with shiny teeth!!!

go Pilipino! -shyie…!-

Master Jo'el!, have a lot of opinions/to say about a lot of things. Of which, I would listen attentively. it's sense. You're the only one with the "highest score" regarding my ridiculous 70+ characteristics. Your thick bushy eyebrows that tempts me to comb. The way you brush your fringe up almost every 3 seconds. =P Ms. Laugh!

Panzer, the person whom I'm found arguing with most of the time.Sorry to disappoint you, we now know you for the nice person you really are, and not what you wanted us to think you are. I was right when I show 'Nichola' & you : about the flirting all day & thinking about the one a guy cares about before going to sleep. I just didn't see how right was I then. =P You & your smiley faces & signature & etc on ppl's books & hand. Your reading of ppl's receipts mischievously. Your taking money from ppl's purse/wallet chaffing into your pocket. the leg uurrggh! thing.Your messy drawer. Speaking/defending on my behalf. Holding/keeping us in place with the absense of Dex & Master Jo'el. Shouting at each other. Being a music perfectionist. 'Get up or I'll sit on you!' and so much more. Inspiration. Your lips sealed. called yourself the 'dumping-ground'- which is a trusted, dependable, one. Your friendliness, lameness, craziness, wildness have won people that meets you.

Those talkings alone with you changed my perception of you. It was from there that I realize you are actually, nice. =P Not that you're not nice.....but ha! mr. annoying. your heart of stone is an irony to your quickness of forgiveness & understanding.

hated me then. I still don't understand why. Annoying? Loud? Busybody? What was wrong? Sharp tongued? Straightforward? Noisy? or they were just being extra-sensitive?

I've always desire for an older brother. Which is impossible if it's to be blood related.=P

Thank God for brothers in Christ, but it can never be the same.

There!I've voiced it out. I hope I'll be better.

He knows our needs.

2010-07-19T20:28:00.002+08:00

Last year(Nov 26 2009), I bought "the Merchant of Venice" by Shakespeare; with the thought that it's of use in the near future. It was an 'illustrated' version with explanations & sorts. True enough, I needed it. When I saw the assignment, I thought to myself, "hmph...this title sounds familiar; I think I have it in my bookshelf." and yeah! it's there.

Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that he knows what we will need months or years before we need them. His love, goodness, and faithfulness are worthy of our highest praise. =)

Also, some years back; I'll always day dream of the interesting things I would see under a microscope; anything I felt like seeing. Now this dream is blossoming into reality. Thanks to God's blessing through a friend. Since I was homeschooling @ home, I was thinking about getting & sharing the science apparatus from AOP, US, however because of financial constraint, postage, ... it didn't work out.

It's a cool microscope; something I don't expected it to be . =D

Thank You.

Embarrassing Moments?

2010-07-19T20:26:00.001+08:00

I believe, if you’re a homo sapien you would have at least ONE embarrassing moment. Embarrassing as in, when you contemplate upon it later, you wished it didn’t happen. Or right after you did something, you realized it; all you wanna do is to run far far far away to hide; perhaps under your blanket and scream!!! You wished you didn’t exist @ that moment or would rather die instead. You wished you have a magic wand to wave it away magically. In short, you wished it didn’t happen and you don’t want to it be brought up. EVER AGAIN. You don’t even wanna think about it. You feel like it’s the end of the world, or your world. Does it sound familiar? These are only few examples how an individual would usually react.
I’ve endured countless embarrassing experiences, encounters, or on the brighter side-Adventures. bleh. Looking from the ‘brighter perspective’, they were the spices that spiced up my life; they made it more interesting, surprising, and eventful. After every embarrassing encounters, the one thing I do is pray to God my Father in heaven that he would erase my memory or ‘pain’ of it. & He never fail to answer my prayer in His time. It takes patiences as well.
]Now, I’ll have to think hard, very hard to remember those embarrasing encounters. We’ll eventually forget, as we move on. =D
I’ve thought quite hard recently……..to remember. I’ll share with you here. To tell you that you’re not alone, & maybe to show you I have worst embarrassing experiences compared to yours.

1. Went in to a Canon store in Sunway with my cousin Joel; while waiting for my aunty & etc. The salesperson is very hospitable, a chinese young man. Since he’s friendly, I asked him myriads of questions; but i didn’t buy anything. [Have you been into a boutique or any stall & the salesperson keeps following you around; that “creepy” feeling-because you’re not going to buy anything] And so, I asked him about camera batteries to printer cartridges(because they have a recycle box for it outside the store), I think he let me ‘test use’ a dslr. I asked bout cameras as well, I even showed him my canon pocket camera, and found out that it’s longer in production.

I found out , through my conversation that I can’t recharge my camera battery until it runs out. I asked about the price & etc. As I’ve said, I didn’t buy anything.

It was embarrassing because of the way I talked & asked questions……& also maybe because I was with my cousin who is younger & taller than me…he might have think……………nvm

Stay tune for more.

It's too much for one to read if I wrote it all at once.

Reminder 2

2010-07-09T18:02:00.005+08:00

What's with the ...................................... ?!

Pls, if the link within it is inserted manually,

please STOP doing that.

& read THIS.

Time's Up

2010-07-08T18:52:00.002+08:00

I guess it's Time's Up for me.

I realize I have been painting

so-called perfect pictures of what we call 'Life'

I don't reveal doesn't mean it's nothing

and I have not been through.

It's just that I'd have to be extra very careful

when it comes to the cyber world.

and I often feel judged by someone

I'll write, I'll share, I'll tell, I'll express

but in the being;

I shall be very careful in my choice of

expression, words, and etc....

Since Proverbs silenced me. =D

real

2010-07-06T13:43:00.000+08:00

goanna get more real.

zZz

2010-07-06T13:37:00.007+08:00

popcorn!

oreo

donut

pancakes with chocolate/citrus/fruits/Maple Syrup

dessert

ice-cream

cakes

chocolate ice blended

drinks

p.s. it doesn't help to think about food to make yourself sleep.

not at all. at least; for me.

perhaps it's because I haven't not eat most of them for a VERY LONG time.

no, it's more of because I saw them on TV. *slurp*

That's why I'm thinking about 'em.

hmph

and Oh!

Sour Gummy Worms

2 is Better Than 1

2010-06-30T22:22:00.013+08:00

Heard of that song? Boys Like Girls?

2 is the Number of Witness

This was how I found out about Boys Like Girls

Me: Where are you going?!

Friend: For a concert.

Me: What concert?!

Another Friend: Boys Like Girls! Boys Like Girls!

Me: *Ignores that friend* What concert?!

Friend: Boys Like Girls lah!

Me: *disbelief stare* Seriously!

"What?!" I thought to myself,

"there's a band called Boys Like Girls? Don't fool me....."

p.s. What's with the ?! you may ask,

that's because of the circumstance the conversation took place in. =P

But, yeah seriously, there's a band called Boys Like Girls. I like their songs; but so far, I've only really really listened to 2 of them. Two is Better Than One & the Great Escape. I would know great escape because two guys were ~~blasting their voices~~ singing it during ……it’s a nice song. =P

I especially like Two is Better Than One. The tune is nice. Ah! I hope sooner or later the word ‘nice’ would become obsolete. But when I sing it, I don’t feel exactly comfortable because of the lyrics.

For example, in the song “the Greatest Love of All” by Whitney Houston

(i only know it's Whitey H cause I just googled it-to confirm the lyrics); know that song? the lyrics go, “The greatest love of all, is easy to achieve. learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all.” I won't feel right if I sing this song because I disagree with the lyrics, the greatest love of all is not to learning to love oneself, rather, it was demonstrated when God sent His only son to planet earth to die for the sins of mankind.

“Greater love has no no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friend”

[John 15:13]

& "The greatest love that anyone would ever know,

that overcame the cross and the grave to find my soul

and till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home,

I'll trust in You."

So I decided to change the lyrics, of Two is Better Than One,

it’ll go

I know it’s trrrruuuueeee,

that I can’t live without You[Jesus]

I know twoooo is better than one.

But there’s not much time

to figure out the rest of my life

………………….

I know 2 is better than one.

for me, it’s not maybe, it’s I know, because the Bible tells me so.

-SWT-

A Biography

2010-06-28T17:36:00.004+08:00

Written in 2006, also; for LA writing assignment.Forgotten that I once wrote this.

Maternal Grandmother:

Biography of My Grandmother

My grandmother, Lim Chin Heoh, was born in Port Klang. Her parents came from China, her father was a teacher in China but when they came to Malaysia he became a fruit seller.

When she was young, she help her father in his business. At the age of seventeen, she went to school because she loves to study but her family is poor and thinks that females shouldn't study but do housework. Her mom would give her 10cents each day but she will save it for her school fees. When she was 18 or 19 she stopped studying because she feels embarrassed because she's the oldest student in th class and the others were 7 or 8 years old.

Then, she worked as a maidservant to a British(England owns Malaysia at that time). She took care of his two kids. Before the British man and his family go back, the British man award her a certificate for being a good and faithful maidservant.

My grandmother never have her own clothes until she was around sixteen or seventeen. She always wear her brother's clothes. When she was in her twenties(she had some money) she went for sewing classes and then she sews her own clothes. She's very up-to-date with the fashion trend.

My grandmother sings very well too, and I think she can play the harmonica. She always travel around with her 'singing group'.

Later, she met my grandfather then they got married. My grandfather used to work for my grandmother's father, that's how my grandparents met each other.

I believe, if my grandmother had study more, .......

Sorry about my grammar then. If I'm given the chance, I would like to find out who's that British man & his family. The testimony given this Sunday caused me to ponder again, on my 'roots' (LAT have a comic strip on this. =D)......more on this next time. =)

She taught me to sing 热烘烘的太阳 when I was younger, because I was to enter the singing competition in my school representing my class. I loved the song because it reminds me of my paternal grandfather who passed away when I was 8. I was his favorite! We loved each other very much. He was an artist, and many of his students/friends are now renown artists. There's this image/vision of him that I had during day time(couple of days after he passed on); smiling, walking & calling my name in his way,[which was 'bin bin' ]on golden background, that still remain clear in my memory. I really hope that before he breathe his last, he had called onto God for salvation, so I can meet him in heaven again. p.s. even the headmistress of my primary school came for his funeral.

my maternal grandparents are now septuagenarian. There was this one night in my uncle's house watching a movie where I lay my head on her back shoulders, & I might have teared; knowing that "The length of our days is seventy years--or eighty, if we have the strength; [Psalm 90:10]

One Paragraph Topic(s)

2010-06-28T17:12:00.004+08:00

Today, I came across some assignments I have written about 4 years ago(when I was 13) for Language Arts, that is English. Using the topic sentence given(we can select which one); one would be required to write a paragraph.....

Saturdays are very special days to me because it's the first day of weekends. I can sleep longer on Saturdays because there's no school. Quite a number of cartoon shows will be on air in the morning especially in TV3. Usually, I will go to Youth meeting at 2pm but I don't attend Youth anymore because I need to go to theory class. I miss Youth quite a lot, I pray that my theory class' day and time will not lash with my Youth meeting in the days to come.

in less than 4 years, prayer was answered! Youth is now on Sundays and my going to theory class came to a conclusion in March! Yay! =) I smiled to myself after finished reading, knowing my God is a prayer answering God!

Money cannot buy the best things in life. The best things in life to me is love; to be loved, to be accepted, joy and peace. The reason I say money cannot buy the best things in life is that, there's no shop or shops in the mall or anywhere that sells love, joy, and peace. Even if someone is paid to love; show love to someone, it's not real love, it's 'fake-love'. Love joy, and peace are found only in abundant life/God. God is the only one who can give us the abundant life through Christ Jesus.

Sometimes I don't like myself. It's uncontrollable for me not to dislike myself. At times, I tried to be someone, hiding my true self behind a mask, it feels tired, and I know it doesn't do any good to be. I am an annoying, irritating, loud kind of person, but whether I dislike this or not, that is still my true self. My "friends" may dislike my true self, but they cannot expect me to be the person they expect me to be. I am who I am, I am what God created me, and God loves me for who I am, and so are true friends.

Comment: Very transparent

I like the part where I wrote, "they cannot expect me to be the person they expect me to be." =D

-SWT-

Lewis'

2010-06-27T20:49:00.006+08:00

Finished reading Alice Through the Looking Glass just now @ around 7.00+pm. When I was reading it yesterday, I find it confusing. =( But I take heart in Alice, who thinks it's confusing as well. It was my first, yeah, FIRST encounter reading Alice Through the Looking Glass. the book is confusing, and at the same time amusing and interesting. For me, it was easy to lose sight of what the story really is; a child's dream. I tend to think & believe that the events that occurred is allegorical & not literal; have meanings & reasons behind it. I actually wanted to understand the story like how I did to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

I 'take notice' the way Alice thinks & speak. It reminds me of how children are, innocent,carefree, and perhaps adventurous and I wondered how did the author manage to write a book like this. I like how the poems pieces fit together in her encounters & adventure in "Through the Looking Glass Land" . Also, I like the poem the Walrus & the Carpenter. oh, poor oysters!

At one point, I thought to myself, "Woah, this is confusing, and it's meant to a child's story! I'm 17, reading this and does not understand it! How can a child understand it then? I was then reminded by my conscience that it's not so. A lot of times, little children have more understanding than us. They aren't doubtful, like us, they just believe. Perhaps that's why Jesus said in Matthew 18:3 "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

Also, they just know.Like how the little ones know Hannah & Ram would be together like rabbit & carrots."I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure." Matthew 11:25-26

p.s.Luke 18:16-17 "But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

-Sha-Wayne-

9481

the Comments

2010-06-27T20:27:00.003+08:00

Recently, not exactly, just that I realize only recently that the comments I would receive for blog posts is all spam. It's as if it's computer generated or something, because all of it, I would say contain '............................' at the end of a comment in Chinese characters; the olden type. I found this out since the time I changed the comments settings to be approved my me before it's posted.

'..............................' is a link itself - a sinful site. Don't worry, I didn't feed on it nor did I entertain the things I have seen. So please, if you're not a 'computer-spam-message-generator' and is a real human. Please do me a favor by stop inserting the links.

Another thing is that their blogger accounts is not active. If you're human, and you've been doing that; I advice you to stop watching/feeding on your sinful lusts of eyes. Turn away from it, Repent while you still have the chance! While you're still under God's grace period. You wouldn't wanna face the days of his wrath poured out on this sinful & corrupted world.

There's a second chance. There's a new life. In Jesus. The choice is in your hands. No matter what you've done in the past, He'll forgive you, if you would only humble yourself to ask for forgiveness and ask Him to be your Lord & Saviour. I guarantee you, your life would totally be changed & is different, if only you are genuine & you believe. If you have disbelief, but you want to believe, tell Him, " I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief. "

Romans 3:10

There is no one righteous, not even one;

1 John 1: 8

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

-Sher Wyn-

Want2Hear

2010-06-27T00:05:00.004+08:00

Something caught my eye on my news feed wall in Facebook, it was a video titled 'What Girls Want' ;with 'Kiss the Rain' by Yiruma as the video music. I recognized the substance content almost immediately; having read somewhere on the Internet; perhaps in an email. It was like hmm, guessing game, but I knew the answers anyways. And I sure do know the answers very well, because my answers matched! Yay! Boo!

I guess, actually it's just common sense. of love;

p.s. I shall now try to blog in paragraphs. It's quite a challenging suggestion; because I've stopped doing that for a long time. But I like this change; it'll challenge me to write more professionally, i mean (write better). blek. =P

Thanks!=)

the Ants

2010-06-25T19:47:00.002+08:00

it's blur;

& hmph not exactly really presentable;

that's why I didn't post it in

Beauties In Life.

GDOP

2010-06-25T19:39:00.003+08:00

-Global Day of Prayer-

Pentecostal Day

p.s. check out the multitude of ppl
some only; from KLANG

the World; the Globe!

2010-06-24T23:54:00.004+08:00

2000 years before Columbus proved the earth to be round and not flat,

the Bible accurately stated the shape of the earth.

In Isaiah 40:22 the prophet stated that God was a sovereign ruler over

"...the circle of the earth..."

The Hebrew word translated circle is chug & refers to a sphere.

9463

Hmm..

2010-06-23T19:54:00.001+08:00

What Will I Hear?

2010-06-23T16:44:00.004+08:00

Click here to read a post that caused me to blog about this.

I used to ponder what is it like to lose my memory.

Entire memory.

Having no clue of who I am, where I am.

[because there are numerous movies like that]

Perhaps a tragic accident took place.

I lost a loved one or loved ones in that accident.

Either the incident was so tragic that I refuse to remember

or I have a head injury.

Whatever it is, that would not be my central focus.

I would more concern of what will happen next.

Waking up in the hospital room.

Perhaps in coma for days, weeks, months.

Will I hear people talking to me?

African Pastor Darren Smith shared about how he got his scar;

He said that his listening sense was magnified

because he've lost his other senses.

Every person who visited him cried, without speaking a single word.

He struggled to move his body, to show signs that

HE's STILL HERE & that HE's AWARE!

So, what will I hear?

In movies; you have seen how ppl discuss matters in the hospital room

thinking the 'unconscious' person can't hear.

Will I hear encouragement?

"It's time to wake up Sher Wyn! You've slept too long a time!"

Will I be mistreated? In my period of 'unconsciousness'

and if I were to wake up,

as I open my eyes, to ceiling so white,

the lights so bright that it hurt my eyes.

Would I think I made it back home to heaven?

Or would I be glad that I'm still on earth?

Then unfamiliar faces pop slowly into my sight

One by one, saying,

"She's awake! Omg, she's awake! Doctor! Doctor!"

"Sher Wyn! How are you feeling?"

"We've been worried sick!"

Hugs, Tears,

All these wouldn't make sense;

I would then disappoint them;

change the entire atmosphere by saying

"Who are you?"

"Who am I?"

finally, "What happened?"

& they would stare at me horrified that I've forgotten it all.

Dreading the time they would have to spend retrieving my memory.

This is another segment that will bewilder me.

What will they tell me?

What will they say about me?

When I ask them about me, about who & what I am,

what I believe in, how I behave, what would I say to certain things.

Will they have to lie to me? Will they have to keep certain things in secret?

because it would be better not known.

Will everyone tell the truth?

Will anyone, friends, esp, care enough to bring all the pictures,

memories right to my eyes & tells me each of them.

Re-telling the times where we did crazy stuffs, embarrassed ourselves,

the jokes we share, the goofing times @ school,

they jokes the made up about me, my height, and my future p.

Will I have fresh wild flowers every now & then?

Will the person I like. even care?

Will I be so blessed like the girl in GivesMeHope.com

waking up to the person she like;

whom she thinks doesn't even know/care she existed

saying, I love you.

Both of them now happily married.

Now; after this.

When the ppl around me making efforts to help me remember,

bringing me to places were I've been,

where certain memories have taken place.

Will I remember even a small fragment of that memory?

Or, suddenly & unexpected, a memory or memories comes rushing in!

In the process, will I have a massive headache.

Will anyone, anybody be present with me when that happens?

"Sher Wyn, you remember something?!"

most of all,

will I even get a visit to heaven or even, at least glimpse of heaven?

I will only find out; if I lose my memory.

gah! perhaps I watched too many movies. =D

Stop!

2010-06-21T20:23:00.003+08:00

These are my goals...for now

I'll have to STOP

1. interrupting ppl

2. saying words like "RIGHT" & "LiKE"

in almost every phrase & sentence I speak.

3. making funny/weird noises almost always

esp when things gets stuck or

when I have to run after something

or etc...

thanks to JTC; it made me really realize these things that I do.

today...

2010-06-15T19:51:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow,

You're always a day away.

-Tomorrow, Annie the Musical-

Tomorrow, will be away for ~~3nights 4 days~~,

4days 3 nights for JTC.

Today, i enjoyed using Google Chrome.

Outdated, i know.

I didn't download if for fear of technical problems

until I updated my Photo-scape yesterday.

I printed 3 music scores today.

Downloaded 5 music scores yester-today,

frm previous requests.

I like printing scores....

I realized.

the printer in my service's job is to print

"taugeih" hokkien way of saying music notes.

80% of the time.

playing them perfectly, or even nicely

is another thing. *sigh* =(

3 Chopin Nocturne, Urtext Edition

they're out for downloading for free in

'celebration' of launching Piano Street in Facebook.

Go! & Download if you like Chopin's Nocturne.

Piano Street rarely "give out" music scores like that.

Only on special occasions & events, e.g. Easter.

Up theme song, Married Life

{yesterday}

Ice Pond (finally!)

from Princess Hours

I replied an email wrongly.

thanks to myself, Hotmail, & Yahoo.

embarrassssiinng.

i think my trouble with replying emails in Hotmail recently

is because of the upcoming new features.

Adjustments to be made & so on, blahs!

I talked to myself in the future;

i mean I send a message for me to be read this time next year.

I wonder whether the link work, since it was in Hotmail.

Thanks to Photojojo: Time Capsule.

Also, in the same email,

numerous pictures that I took about this time last year,

the White Moth, the Balloon-like UP, the Posing,

Camporama.

Thank you God-my Father in Heaven,

that I manage to reply the emails,

if not they'll have to wait even longer.

.Caoiz.

Laments

2010-06-11T14:59:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was the first time since ages
I decided to ZIP my mouth when a hair stylist cuts my hair.
I went to another hairstylist instead of the one I used to go.

The hair stylist was really delicate in cutting my hair.
It's no easy task to cut 'em cause it's more abundant than typical people.

I had hesitated whether or not to get a hair cut.
JTC is 5 days away
Whatmore, they say one needs about 2 week for hair to be 'normal'
ah! something like that

If I didn't cut,
I'll have a hard time staying 'cool' during JTC in Sungai Congkak
have sorta learnt my lesson frm Advancement Camp last year? & Camporama
If I cut,
It'll be something like GY Camp.
But now, my hair is even shorter than that time.

Now, I look like a guy.
I have hair shorter than some guys.

Now, I don't have to worry about the humid & hot weather much
But I hope I don't get to lament about the shortness.

And I decided last minute to get a hair cut.
Why! Why! Why!

Okay, I'm lamenting because there's a National Camp in 5 days
and I'm sure everyone; even me the insecurely vanilla chocolate chip one
wants to look fine.

Imagine this pathetic sight:
Me in my short short hair.
Me in my short short height.
Me in my fat fat body.
Me In the Rangers uniform which
makes me look even fatter & shorter
I'll be the weirder looking one.

If Im a stranger. & I see this sight.
I might laugh.
And If i find out that she(ME) is 17 years old this year.
I'll LAUGH EVEN HARDER.

So, I really hope that the time of wearing Uniform is short.
Then I can change into T-shirt & pants;
looking ever more tom-boyish. gah!

What-ever...
I hope I don't get the wrong date of the camp.

It's A Responsibility

2010-06-10T13:50:00.007+08:00

Leadership is a responsibility; not a position.
heard of this saying? which is absolutely true.

The first time when I heard this brought an awareness to me.
If I'm not mistaken; it was Sherene Teh was said this
in a worship team audition/workshop.

I was oblivious then. Yes; I have been in leadership position;
but I didn't feel it because I wasn't the only human in those positions
which I can't rmb; there's no need to anyways.

Perhaps; it can't be called leadership position;
because we weren't leading alone;
we had help since we were learning to be leaders.

Most of the time; I don't like to be a leader.
the responsibility.
I'm not confident, I'm afraid,
Afraid of failure, afraid of not being able to measure up;
to other ppl. to their expectation.
I realized now, If I'm not confident,
Good! My confidence is in my GOD!
and I'll be reminded of verses frm the Bible;
"the fear of men is a snare; the fear of God-the beginning of wisdom."

Being a leader is a responsibility.
Now I understand this with my heart,
and is still in the process of understanding it deeper.

Being a leader is a responsibility.
Especially if you're a worship leader or in the worship team.
Your life is in constant danger because you are
the front liners in the battle field warring against the enemy.
Being an active Christian is already a threat to the enemy;
What more the front liners.
You'll be attacked in various way in your life, from Sunday to Sunday.
Because the enemy know; if you FALL to their trap;
your ministry, your responsibility, is in jeopardy.
It won't be effective any longer-
until you repent and renew your life once again in God.
They'll be laughing @ you now, instead.

it's a responsibility, because
we have to constantly check ourselves for pride,
whether our hearts, intentions, motives are right.
Are we doing what we are doing for God's glory.

We have to, to come to the Father,
in confession, repentance,
for help, grace and mercy.
Because we are nothing if we did not abide in Him
all the days of our life.
(John 15:4)

Much is given much is required.
At the end of the day, we have to be accountable to Him.

Recently, I was to be 'responsible' for the Notice Board.
If you've not done notice boards b4, you wouldn't know how it's like.
You'll say; It's so easy, What's So Hard?!
I was one of them who thinks that;
unaware of the time spent brainstorming the idea. the concept.

Wild, great Ideas are of no use if you can't visualize or plan
how you are going to make it a reality.
You'll have to think: How Am I To Bring It Forth?
Is it very time consuming?
and so forth.

Clash of opinions is a common thing.
I'm still learning.
One way to failure is to try to please everyone.

Recently; through some example adults,
my mother pointed out to me what I (people) shouldn't be like.
Injustices. Frustration.
She'll tell me: Now you know. So next time don't be like them.
It took some time to sink in into application.

Some people like to take hold of everything.
Do everything. In charge of everything,
Only to end up in total frustration to themselves
and made the people they meet frustrated with them.

That is not because no one offered to help.
Many did. But their offer was turned down.
Because the person, from my reasoning,
did not trust anyone other than him/herself.
a perfectionist.

Being a leader is not doing everything.
It's more of working effectively with your members;
trusting them to do what you gave them to do;
impacting & helping them on their journey to future leadership.

This is my realization & I will, with Christ's strength,
to walk this realization.

Please, DON'T begin to observe me strictly, cross examine me,
waiting for me to fall to condemn me,
just because you've read this and think you know everything.
Rmb what you've said:
"You See, you Judge, and you judged WRONGLY."

JTC

2010-06-05T21:05:00.003+08:00

Junior Training Camp;
I will go with desires & with an expectant heart

I desire...
that my relationship with God will be even more deeper
that I will get to come back even more refreshed passionate for Him
[after all, the theme is :His faithfulness]
that I will be strengthen through the fellowship of fellow brothers & sisters in Christ
that I will be challenged, tried, and perfected at the same time
that I get to learn from everyone present
that I be blessed & be a blessing to others
opportunities to share my life, my failures, my victories, my shortcomings
to be a vessel, a channel, for Him to work
that my faith in Him will be stronger & more secure

I expect God to fulfill, bring to pass, what He had told & promised me.
Opportunities.
I will stand in awe of Him,
knowing that He is at work &
the Doors opened by Him are ones that no one can shut.

it will be another great adventure of my life;
while I'm still on earth.
Great is thy faithfulness!

different environment, people, circumstances,
the diverse, the bizarre,
= the most outstanding, unique, captivating, & beautiful.

p.s. one insecurity i intend to make right;
I was/am concerned about how I will look when I get up in the morning;
because usu. I'll have a pale face with freckles screaming loudly.
Imagine: Vanilla Chocolate Chip Cookie
that's what it's like.
or recently, it was like.

morning breath?.
morning odor?

and ~~gain~~ lose some weight/fats ; perhaps...=D

Another thing is that hmph;
I intend to struggle with myself
to gain acceptance in risking rejection
to risk rejection in gaining acceptance
***
Have you ever ponder about where you will go when you die?
i have good news for you;
if you are to accept Jesus into your heart right now;
confess that you are a sinner and need Him to save you;
[for He had died & paid the price for ALL your sins]
ask Him to be your Lord & Savior, Repent of your sins,
believe He died & rose again on the third day;
you will be saved.
You will enter into His joy & rest
which is eternal life in Heaven;
prepared for us since the creation of this world.

This IS the most important decision you will ever make;
because it will determine your eternity

You have to make the choice.
that's why we have free will & conscience.
He won't & can't force us.

If you're reading this;
it also means that right now
He's standing at the door of your heart knocking.
Would you let him in & dine with you?

Don't delay in making this decision.
Don't say I'll think about it when I'm free.
or when you have the time.
Because you'll never know;
This may be your last chance.

-SWT-
♥

Nothing New

2010-05-26T21:55:00.001+08:00

Wednesday / May 26, 2010
Daily Focus [Devotions-AOP]

"There is no new thing under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9b).

As I homeschooled my children, I was surprised to find myself
reliving many of the same frustrations I experienced as a young student.
One day, I watched as my daughter struggled to solve a story problem in algebra.
As she tried to identify the unknown variables in the problem,
she cried, "Mom, I just don't get this!"

Remembering my own issues with story problems,
I replied, "I know it's difficult to understand.
Story problems were always hard for me, too.
My junior high math teacher had to spend hours with me
before I could finally figure them out."

"Really?" she asked. "I thought I was the only one who couldn't get these."

As Christians, Satan attempts to isolate and defeat us
in our failures by convincing us that no one understands our problems.
Although each person's experience may be slightly different,
we all deal with the same basic sinful temptations
mankind has experienced since the Garden of Eden (1 Corinthians 10:13a).

Thinking we are alone in fighting our battles,
we become discouraged in our Christian walk.
We fall prey to Satan's age-old tactics of
"the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life" (1 John 2:16b)
and finally give up,
thinking that the victorious Christian life won't work for us.

What about you?
Are you experiencing a personal struggle in your walk with the Lord today?
Perhaps the stress of homeschooling is revealing character flaws that cause you to stumble.
Don't despair. You're not alone.
Others have experienced what you're going through
and know how to help with encouragement and prayer.
Best of all, you have a loving Savior who forgives
and changes your life to "make all things new" (Revelation 21:5).

Father, I've failed so many times to live the way You want me to.
Please, lead me to godly friends who can help and give me strength
to resist those temptations that would lead me away from You.
In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Personalized

2010-05-26T00:00:00.002+08:00

maybe it's time for me to personalized this land...
i shall begin to gather my thoughts;
and see how it goes....

P.S. I wonder whether I miss feeling vulnerable.

Andrew Sanjay !

2010-05-24T20:24:00.002+08:00

the Warning

2010-05-24T18:34:00.002+08:00

2010-05-24T17:47:00.002+08:00

oh?

2010-05-24T00:43:00.003+08:00

and oh...?
I didn't tell you; swtland...
apparently I have a tumblr;
which I wasn't active until recently....

you can't find me by name...
since 'my name' is called
inspiring gobbledygooks!
like what a name!

and also;
Beauties In Life
my 'hobby blog' / blog hobby
whatever you call it;

where I started with putting up m favorite pictures...
now it's a dumping site for pictures that pleases my eyes more than the rest.
I can't wait to get rid of them all!

-do I sound different?-
hahahha!
Vivien; you're such a blessing!
I'm glad I met you, sista! =D

-Sher Wyn-♥
thank you; Heavenly Father;
for watching & guiding my steps;
esp these few days;
continue to do so;
because I'm helpless without You.

the Trumpets...!

2010-05-22T20:48:00.000+08:00

Simply because...

2010-05-17T00:00:00.004+08:00

It's simply because I've been living more and writing less.

When you are busy living life,
there's less motivation to chase after memories on paper,
less need to show off what you've done
or construct pictures of perfect images.

-Jasmine Yow-
Behind that shiny resume
Jottings of a troubled Collge Student
Aug 2008, pg77

and yes! I took that picture of "Dory & Nemo.
The works of my Father's hands! uh-ma-zing, isn;t it!

Write-(Right)-Write. Whatever....

2010-05-16T23:50:00.002+08:00

I want to write, there's so much bubling inside me,
looking forward to emerge
and extend its beauty.

I hesitated.
For fear of being judge
because of my thoughts.
I just felt that somehow.

I miss the old me,
who is unafraid to write out some her thoughts here;
previously.

I squirm.
the Power of Words
I was always reminded.

But I do not regret what's I've wrote,
What I've felt, What I've thought,
those of morality, duh!

Because they have a part in shaping who I am today.

Maybe, one of these days,
when the right time comes;
I will reveal bits by bits,
what my mind/brain have been up to lately.

When I don't write,
jot them down,
those memories fade away.
Forgotten or vague.

However, at the end of the day
all these will be remembered no more.
I'll have a newer mind.
I'll live in place where righteousness
is its dwelling place forever, and ever.

I'll make an effort.
to write. When I still have the chance to.

I want to be unafraid of what ppl will think.
and just fear what my Holy Heavenly Father would think.
Whom shall I fear? I'm His!

Heart of Repentence

2010-05-14T19:25:00.002+08:00

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp--
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor

Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

'And why is everyone so quiet,
So somber - give me a clue.'
'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you.'

JUDGE NOT!!

Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a
Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

Every saint has a PAST...
Every sinner has a FUTURE!
Now it's your turn... Share this poem.

Ashamed.

2010-05-13T20:51:00.002+08:00

I'm ashamed that I've confused
the Rapture
with the 2nd Coming of Christ- the End of Days.

as a Christian,
now it's even more clearer than before.

-if i still get to, i'll write more on this-

Time, is seriously running out.
He's coming would be at an unexpected moment!